My Favorite Literary Character

I probably should have written this post back in the summer, because I will probably be foggy on details now, but I would like to share with you all my favorite literary character. As background, a little over a decade ago, the people around me started discussing this thing called Lord of the Rings. I thought it sounded like the dumbest thing I had ever heard of, but one day my brother brought home the movies and suddenly I was hooked. Yes, I did the bad thing and fell in love with the movies before I read the book. I did a skim reading of the books one winter around that time, but it wasn't until this summer when I carefully read them through.

I must say since I watched the movies first, details to blend together, and I am guilty of picking and choosing what changes I like best. Originally the love story between Aragorn and Arwen hooked me as crazy as that may sound. I still like these characters a lot, but further reading into the story I quickly realized the small part their loved played into this excellent trilogy. I could tell you all the characters I like and why for there are very few I dislike apart from the villains, but my very favorite would have to be Faramir.

From the first time I saw "The Return of the King" my heart broke for him when his father admitted Faramir would have died in his father's place. Then Faramir goes out on a suicide mission to prove his loyalty and earn his father's love only to be placed on a burning pyre alive. I suppose it was a pity I felt, but the more I actually read of the story, the more I began to admire this character that Tolkien created.

When Faramir was a very young boy his mother passed away and his father drifted away in grief. It was during this time that Faramir became close with his older brother Boromir despite the fact that his father favored Boromir. Tolkien points out that no matter what favoritism was shown, Faramir still loved and admired his brother. No jealousy ever separated the brothers. Despite Faramir's love for his brother, he still did what he could to make his father proud. This affected his choice in holding Frodo and Sam prisoner when the ring came to his possesion. Yet in the end, Faramir chose the right choice over pleasing his father knowing there would be harsh consequences. His father did indeed verbally abuse him for his choice and comparing him to Boromir. The sad truth is that Boromir met his fate in his lust of the ring. Denethor, as Faramir' father was named, had no desire to return the ruling on Gondor back to the rightful king, but Faramir did so with pleasure after only ruling for a brief spell. After almost dying in a suicide mission to earn his father's love and healing from this wounds and the pyre, Faramir met and fell in love with the lady Eowyn of Rohan. When expressing his feelings, he was bold but not assuming.

From everything I read (and have seen) about Faramir (and I know I am forgetting some things right now), he is selfless. In today's world, we all seem to have this feeling of entitlement. We want what we want when we want it, and many times we ruin relationships with others to meet our own needs first. Faramir was never shown as perfect. He toyed with pleasing his father above all else even if it was the wrong thing, but he still made the right choice in the end. He had a kind spirit and a good heart. In a deleted scene, Pippin tells Faramir that he has "strength of a different kind." He may not have been the warrior that his older brother was, but Faramir took wise council from others and learned from it. His actions led to a part in saving Middle Earth from destruction.

The Bible says:

 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV)

Faramir could have let his self worth come from what his family thought of him. He could have competed with his brother to be the best soldier. He could have fought to keep his stewardship of the throne or been arrogant with Eowyn. Yet he did none of this. He maintained a gentle spirit and did his duty for the people of his land. What a better place the world might be if we stopped focusing on what we think we should have and started putting others first.

                                          

Reasons I'm Thankful to be a Teacher

I thought I would take a moment and blow the dust off of this blog. I have many excuses reasons for my silence of late. First of all, I have a new blog documenting my teaching adventures. Currently I am working on a Thanksgiving post from the pre-k front. So there. In my defense, I haven't completely neglected blogging. God has truly been working in my heart these last few months, but the battles feel more personal. I do share with close friends and family, but I don't feel like everything needs shared on the world wide web. With that said - I have finally found some inspiration in an area I enjoy sharing about - teaching!

This post seems appropriate considering November is the month for Thanksgiving. Of course I should be grateful everyday, but lately the blessing of being a teacher hit me like a ton of bricks. Granted, some days are really tough! Sometimes I'm struggling with personal issues, and 10 children need my help with their homework. Other days that cold virus they gave me feels like death in my dramatic mind. Then the week comes when all students declare a free from all the rules we've learned all year. The list of challenges can seem overwhelming, but I would not trade it for anything in the world. Here are some reasons I am thankful that God called me into teaching (in no particular order):

   

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2. Laughter - They say laughter is the best medicine. These kids keep me smiling day in and day out. Even on days when their behavior could send me over the edge, they at least have style in delivery. I really have to check myself to be sure I am not reinforcing negative behavior, because some days it is so hard not to laugh. From answers to questions, reactions to the opposite gender, stories from home and sometimes just plain old innocence - these kids keep a constant smile on my face. If you're friends with me on Facebook, you may have some idea of what I am talking about.
3. Challenges - What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Parts of my 2 jobs in education settings make me feel inadequate. Some days I almost find myself questioning why God placed me there, yet I feel so blessed that He did. Both worlds have taught me so much, and God has given me such a compassion for people I never would have thought about working with before. I can see a great change in my approach to teaching the 2nd time through than the first. I believe this to be a good sign as I should always be growing and changing for the better in whatever I do. I also continue to see I have so much to learn, but the Lord has been my guide through every step of the way, and I know He will continue to do so.
4. Working with Kids - All my life I have always wanted to work with kids. Ever since I was a child myself, I've enjoyed holding babies and playing with the younger crowd. As much as I would love to be a wife and mother - that isn't in the cards for me right now. God has bigger and better plans than I could imagine for myself. As I pray and try to seek His direction in what all that may entail, He has me in a wonderful set up right now. It hit me driving home one day that I am daily exposed to 100+ kids daily. That's a huge responsibility when it comes to making a difference. These aren't just kids I am passing on the street. These are children under my care, my teaching and if nothing else - my example. That thought can be overwhelming, but for someone who wanted to work with children - the Lord sure did bless me. Not only do I have my own students, but I have been able to visit with my mom's class as well as teaching Sunday School and serving in the church nursery. It may not be mothering, but it's a joy to serve in this capacity.
5. Enjoying the Small Things - Now that I am a teacher, I realized I lost the wonder of childhood somewhere along the way. Obviously this comes with growing up, but teaching has brought some of the wonder back. Lately my computer backgrounds have something to do with the theme I'm teaching - apples, pumpkins, leaves, holidays, etc. Recently driving through the countryside and seeing the various pumpkin stands brings a smile to my face. I have a hard time going into a store and staying away from the holiday aisles to see what could be used for a learning center. I spend my weekends dying noodles and making play dough. I do it for the kids, but I cannot deny that I have a ton of fun preparing these lessons for them. I wouldn't call myself a total Pinterest addict, but I do enjoy searching for adorable things to do with my kids. I love decorating the classroom which spreads into decorating my house. I enjoy baking, crafting and many other things simply because it brings joy to my students.
6. Camaraderie - Friendships are something to be cherished. The Lord blessed me with many wonderful friends throughout the year. However, there is an extra special connection with my teaching friends. Those friends all teach different age groups and subjects, but I like to say we all have the same stories with differing levels of cuteness. It's wonderful to share student teaching experiences, field experiences, college courses, and now that some of us are into our careers, we can share about the struggles and victories each day. I love all my friends dearly, teachers or not, but I am thankful for that special connection that being a teacher brings.
7. Stories - One of these days I will be off on my own, but for now I am living with the parents. It really is awesome with my mom being a kindergarten teacher. Awesome for us anyway. The men in our house would probably disagree. My youngest brother has a death glare that could kill when we get started, but it is so awesome to come home and share about our day. Pre-K and K are fun ages, and we always have something fun to share. I also cherish the advice my mom gives when I come home with a problem. Her wisdom from all her years of experience is a wonderful treasure.
8. The Bible - I have the blessing of teaching a Bible lesson at the preschool. Some of the children are not always exposed to the love of Christ. It's such a blessing to share with them. I love to see how fast they absorb the lessons and see it in use in their daily life. Hearing these precious children sing praises to God melts my heart every time. I look forward to sharing the true meaning of Christmas with them in the weeks to come. Learning about both thanks and giving is already proving a blessing.

Wow! I feel like I should go for an even 10, but the inspiration is running dry. I could think of many more reasons, if I didn't have to wrap this up right now. Lots of blessings packed in that list, but lots and lots of responsibility. Honestly, I run short many days. I could certainly do a better job, but this is life. Instead of focusing on my failings, I need to pick myself up, look at the blessings, and rely on the Lord to do a better job. I'm still praying about what is next in life, but until then I will be thankful for all that I have.

Grow Up

     

  If you know me well, you may know that I am a fan of BBC. Robin Hood, Merlin, Sherlock, Doctor Who....okay, you all get it - I am a nerd. One of the reasons I became such a fan girl is because of my friends, Sarah and Emily who introduced me to Merlin. The rest sort of followed, but whatever - none of you need to know the entire history of my epic nerdiness. The reason I enjoy these fandoms we share is because of the life lessons we draw from them. Before you freak out, please know that I do not use tv shows to guide my every step. It's just sometimes in our nerdy discussions, we end up rabbit trailing onto some great spiritual truth from something that we have learned. Visit Sarah and you'll see what I mean.

    Ok - so here is what I have been thinking a lot about lately. Above you will see a beautiful lady named Marian. Actually her name is Lucy Griffiths, but let's not kill the moment. Marian is of course the infamous love of Robin Hood's life. Every telling of the legend is different, but BBC presents Marian as a head strong girl quite capable of taking care of herself. She had to because Robin left her alone while he went to fight in the Crusades. Upon his return, he was shocked to find that Marian's father had been overthrown as sheriff and an evil man had taken his place. Robin Hood stated that he would not tolerate this injustice. He gave up all that he had (another lesson for another day) to live as an outlaw in the woods, protecting the people from the corrupted Prince John and the evil sheriff.

    Robin Hood sounds like a great hero, and in fact I think he rather was. The problem was at times he would make rash decisions because things were not fair. He ended up in jams because he wanted his own way. Marian knew how the system worked after all her years spent in Nottingham without King Richard's protection. She knew they could not have their own way all the time. She had found her own way to help others by becoming the Night Watchman. 

  As the Night Watchman, Marian was able to help those in need without openly defying the powers that be. She protected herself and those she helped by keeping her true identity a secret. This way she could serve for a long time to come. There were times when she encouraged Robin to do the same for the complete protection of the people. To do this she would constantly tell him, "Grow up."

    Robin and Marian both had to make many tough decisions for England. It meant self sacrifice and giving up things they wanted. When Robin would discourage Marian from making these choices, she always gave the same reply, "Grow up."

     Friends, this is what I must do. "Grow up." I have decided that I too have been holding on too tight to what I decided is right rather than what I know is right. It is time that I give up my selfish dreams and do something that counts. It is time that I stop living for self, and completely and totally surrender myself to God. Honestly, this has been my desire in life, but in growing up, I realize there is yet more I must do. 

     All of the sudden I find myself pursuing goals I used to be afraid of pursuing. I am not yet ready to announce to the world wide web what all this may entail, but if you think about it, please pray. I am on the verge of making a big decision that could change my life forever. That probably sounds a lot more dramatic than it is. Really it is all in God's hands, and I seek His guidance. Let's just say I have a teaching degree and there's a great big wide world out there.

       "Grow up" - "Okay!"

Perspective

    The last weeks have really been a fast pace learning experience. What's new, huh? I guess that is what happens when you are working in a couple different fields at once, not to mention the fact that what I do changes every couple of months. For the last session of the after school program I work for, I was longer tutoring, but strictly assisting with the YMCA.

      I must say I am so grateful the Lord brought about the tutoring job because that is how everything started. I enjoyed being able to solely focus upon a career in teaching and working with children because that is where my heart lies. However, the tutoring was challenging and I admittedly got frustrated quite often. It proved to be a great training in patience and understanding. It took me a very long time to learn these lessons, and I am sure I haven't learned all there is to learn about handling these situations. These last 6 weeks have altered my perspective greatly.

     It hit me that the reason I was struggling with teaching these precious children is I do not share their perspective on life. Going in I realized that they would be coming from completely different backgrounds, but I guess I never stopped to think just how different. Different doesn't have to be a bad thing, but different leads to different feelings, different thoughts, different reactions and the list goes on. The way I was trained on how to deal with things growing up did not match how my students deal with things. Thus the conflict and frustration.

      My desire is to be a good teacher and that means putting the child first. There are times when I just don't know how to react because I want to do what is best for the child. Since I am a human too, I know I have made mistakes when frustration and even anger take hold. Again, the last six weeks is what I needed. Before I was only getting about 2 hours a day with a select amount of the children. Basically the same group of kids all the time. When I began working with the whole program, I was exposed to more of the children for longer amounts of time. This is when things began to click.

       Will I ever get inside their heads and truly understand how they feel about things - no. I did not grow up the same way, BUT from being around them more, I have a better knowledge of where they are coming from. Just imagining myself in their shoes helps the world make a little more sense. I still struggle with my classroom management skills, but it is a work in progress. Being around the kids more led to them knowing me better. This is turn provided more respect from both parties, and things began to change for the better.

        What the last six weeks really taught me is how much I take for granted. I mean, it sounds cliche' and it is. I know I take things for granted, but I just never really thought of how extremely blessed I am. I come from a stable home and a close knit extended family. My family is by no means perfect, but the Lord brought everything together and I always feel supported. Not only is my family together, but we have a nice house, a big yard, a driveway, vehicles for everyone, constant supply of food, a Bible believing church, great friends. My parents have also provided my brothers and I with a Christian education, I was able to complete 4 years at Bible college, and I got 3 education related jobs my first year out of school in this tough economy. I have always been thankful for those things, and some of that is more important than other things on the list, but how often do I really think about all of those things together. Some people do not even have one of the things on that list and some of them might be the kids I go to work with everyday. It makes me feel greedy because there are times when I desire more in life, and yet to some people, I have everything in the world. Reality has slapped me hard these last 6 weeks and I could go on longer. Instead I will end with this, my perspective is changing, and my prayer would be to be more grateful for what the Lord has given me, and be more understanding to those who struggle.

Graduation Gown

So today after my pre-k kiddos finished their end of the year closing program, a couple of the girls tried on their graduation gowns to see if they would do the trick. Yes, it is already the time of year to be talking closing programs and graduation. As a matter of fact,  I have now been out of college for a whole entire year. What? I mean, wasn't I just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that senior year has arrived?

     This year brought a lot of new into my life. At the beginning of the school year I seem to remember blogging about how wonderful life was. I have enjoyed many of these moments immensely, but not everything has been easy. Juggling 2-3 jobs has proved difficult at times, but I believe I have finally been given the right balance. The Lord always knows just what I need. I am happy to say I will be teaching pre-kindergarten for at least one more year and working strictly with the extended day program partnership of the YMCA and a city school. I really do love the diversity and experience these situations bring me. I feel like I have seen and learned a lot this year, but I know I have only begun to scratch the surface of working with children in educational settings.

      I have also enjoyed being at home and the opportunities that brings. I feel a lot closer to my family now that I am able to be a part of all festivities. I love our schedules as we are apart enough to not get on each other's nerves too much. My extended family is the best and I didn't realize how much I was missing until I came back home. I have also reconnected with old friends and made many new friends. I also had several good and bad car experiences, but I am grateful for the freedom of my own wheels. Among all of this, I am still learning about good money management. Basically I am learning to live life in the real world, and it's going pretty well considering the big picture. This feels like one of the fastest years of my life, but then again, time does fly when you're having fun. Looking forward to seeing what year 2 brings my way!

Family

I'm surprised I have never done a post like this before, for this is a topic I think a lot about. This post is about family. I could go on and on about how I have the best family ever, but no one but my own family wants to hear that. I believe family like so many other things in this world is one of those things that God places you in based on personality, experience, etc. Some days it bothers me when people say they have the best family ever because I feel like I do. That's silly though, because we're all right I think. Your family is a precious God given gift, and that my friends means it is the best. The best situation for you.

    This is why I am so passionate about the subject. I think back on all of I have been through in my life. Friends have come and gone, jobs, school, cars, etc have all done the same. I think of my closest circle of friends and each one of them could probably tell you a little bit about my history in these areas. However, family - well they could probably say something about each. My family and this includes, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins have always been there for me, and I for them. They came to my school plays, graduations, birthday parties, church functions and of course holidays. It's just cool to think about how we have all grown and changed together, but yet we are always as close as we always are.

     I am so grateful for all of my friends, but this stage of life with family is so nice. Not only are they my family, but many of them are some of my closest friends too. It is nice to share your experiences with people who love you and have always been there.

      Writing this also reminds me of my heavenly Father. Not only has He always been there, but He knows my thoughts and heart too. His guidance is precious as one who holds all of this knowledge and knows what is best for me.

     This post is very rambling, but I just love my family so much, and I am grateful for all the time we have spent together. It is nice to be reminded of the people who love and care about you and you the same for them.

Bird Nest Project

Some days I wonder why I have a blog. I am pretty sure few people read it. This may be because I do not broadcast it often. After all, I don't have cute kids and stories to share, well with permission anyway. I do not believe it my place to tell all about my students. However, I recently thought how thankful I am for the resources the internet supplies in my lesson planning. With this in mind my goal is to share some of my projects I do in my classroom.

First up in my bird nest project. The inspiration for this project came from Dr. Seuss Read Across America week. My mom let me borrow her Seuss book from her kindergarten classroom, and I chose to read "My Nest is Best" to my 2 day class. The book goes over how birds collect various objects when building their nest. This made me think how fun it would be for the kids to make nests of their own. This project allows for creativity, but I will go over what we did and what I would change in the future.

First of all I will say that I love small groups. I do have an assistant, so this makes this possible for me. I don't always have the time for group work, but I love it when I do. Though I only had the one craft planned for this day, I did make it into 2 parts.

My assistant led the bird group. For this part I had stencils of birds for the kids to trace. We are trying to focus on pre-writing skills, so  I am hoping to do a lot of tracing activities in the weeks to come. I had a bird cut-out that I believe originally came from Microsoft Word clip art. You can find whatever shape would work best for you. I wish I would have picked a cut out a little more defined. Many of the children thought they were cutting out a fish. I also meant to have them glue feathers onto their cut out, but I forgot to get them out. If you have the time, I think it would be fun to decorate the birds with feather, googly eyes, markers, etc. This may be more appropriate for longer sessions, older children or a deeper study on birds. We gave the children the choice of blue, brown or red for their bird, but the possibilities are endless. The kids finished this part by gluing their bird to a background paper. We used gray, but again, you could change it as needed.

Now that we had the fine motor skills working with the birds, we needed the nest. I gave each child a half of a paper plate. I had them assemble their nest on the part that scoops in so it would be easier to glue the nest to the background page. I made a mud mixture by blending food coloring together until it looked brownish. All I can say for that is experiment! They really seemed to get into the fact that their glue looked like mud. Just be sure they realize it is glue for their objects and not just paint. Some were getting so into painting it, that they were letting the glue dry before they put anything "nesty" on it. I have them q-tips to spread the glue, but I think paint brushes would work better with glue. Normally we find that the little fingers handle the q-tips better, but the fuzzy and glue don't work together well.

I placed the muddy glue around the objects. They could choose cut up paper, ribbon, yarn, straws, felt, pipe cleaners and tissue paper for their nest. I had some left over supplies from previous crafts, so many things were already cut. However, anything new I left for them to cut to get in that fine motor skill practice. They all seemed to gravitate toward the same type of material, but it was a joy to see their creativity  I think I have them too many color options because the supplies looked like a nest, but the colors detracted from the project at hand. It's pk since they did get to express creativity, and sometimes it is good to just recycle and use what you have.

In the end they really turned out cute, and I believe the children had fun putting them together. I enjoyed hanging the final products up for a new spring bulletin board. I am ready to put winter behind us, and what better way than nest building! I glued their nests on after they left for the day. They did glue their birds, but I wanted to test out the durability of their nests. I encouraged them to drag yarn, pipe cleaners and anything like that right through the glue so it would stay. Over all they held together well. Most things that fell off I was able to replace right where the child had originally placed it.

Hopefully I can be more faithful about sharing my teaching ideas. With my 3 day class we did the paper plate "Cat in the Hat" craft you can find here. They turned out adorable, and I was able to split the groups into 2 as well. One group painted while the other assembled the hat and face. My first Dr. Seuss week as a teacher seemed to go well overall. With that being said,  Happy Crafting and Happy Springtime! 

Many Oneths

       I guess I could start out by saying the most recent "oneth" of life is hearing one of my pre-kers substitute the term first for oneth. Never a dull moment with those kiddos. Honestly, this year has been full of may firsts. Obviously I have experienced the joys of my first teaching positions. The Lord also blessed me with various ministry opportunities in my home church. A few road trips and various family outings also bring new experiences to add to that list of oneths. Overall, life has been good, but I've also been learning a lot through first time experience.

      It would be great to say that all these firsts in life have been terrific. From previous blog posts it may seem like my life is near perfect and I'm enjoying every single moment. This could not be far from the truth. I have felt the frustrations that come with teaching such as the feeling of lost classroom control. I also have experienced a couple negative driving experiences, and as always - there are my everyday human failures that affect family and friend relationships. I don't want it to seem as if life is all bleak and I'm miserable, but it would be unrealistic to paint a perfect picture of my life.

       Through all my short comings God is still God, and just as any good Father would, He always seems to have a loving lesson to teach me. It may not be an easy lesson to learn, and I may not get it right away. I would say the greatest lesson I have learned recently is patience. I can be one of those people that needs to go-go-go all day. This causes rushing and impatience on my part. Through these recent failures of mine, I've been learning to breathe a little more. I find that when I act as if I have all the time in the world, things get done timely AND in order. I still find myself rushing through life at times, but it truly is getting better. I know they say you shouldn't pray for patience, but I feel like this is one of the most beneficial lessons of my life so far. Taking time and enjoying these life moments give me the chance to love more deeply and live more purely. I still have many many short comings, and so much in my life needs changing. After all no one ever stops learning or growing in life. My heart is truly thankful for this lesson in patience the Lord has seen fit to teach me. My prayer would be it shapes me into a better teacher, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly a woman after God's own heart.

The Bad Guy

       

                A few months ago I had to smile when a 5 year old described for me the events of Lincoln's assassination. In his words, the reason John Wilkes Boothe killed the President of the United States was simply "cuz he's the bad guy." When I think back on my 5 year old mind, that's what evil came down to - he's the bad guy. Max was right in a way. After all I don't believe Mr. Boothe had much good in his heart when he pulled trigger. However, I no longer believe that reasons for evil are always because "he's the bad guy."

        I mentioned a few posts back that my friends and I enjoy the British drama "Merlin." The show centered around Merlin and 3 other characters. One was the infamous Morgan Le Fey though in this particular adaption of the legend her name was Morgana Pendragon. The show begins with Merlin, Morgana and their friends Arthur and Gwen working together for the good of the kingdom, but over time Morgana becomes the arch nemesis of Camelot. Merlin, Arthur and Gwen spent their time trying to defeat her. In the end was I happy to see the end to "the bad guy?" No, because I saw what drove her to such madness. Though I never condoned her actions and the character did upset me many many times, I sympathized with her plight in life. She was lied to time and time again, and she was left with nowhere to turn. The only person who offered her comfort in trouble was the person who led her to a path of destruction. My heart ached for this bad guy.

        Several other movies and shows I've seen lately draw the same emotion for me. Many movie goers enjoyed Avengers over the past summer. I must agree that Loki was a bit full of himself, but he did have to live in the shadow of his older brother all of his life. Guy of Gisborne from BBC Robin Hood was never one of my favorites, but you could see the battle in his mind. He wanted to do right by Marian, but he also wanted to make a name for himself after suffering the great loss of his parents as a child. Regina from Once Upon a Time also sunk beneath the weight of her family issues.

      Am I saying there is an excuse for evil? No way! Sin is sin, and sin must be punished. There is a line in a song called "Angel" by Within Temptation that gets me every time. It says, "This world may have failed you, it doesn't give you the reason why. You could have chosen a different path in life." How true this is. Life can really be tough sometimes, and some people seem to have it tougher than others. Really it can be a wonder that more people don't wonder around tearing apart people's lives or coming up with evil plans to take over the world.

      This is why I believe I have come to appreciate good villains in stories. I love when a writer can create a scenario when you sympathize with the bad guy. You may not want to see their plan succeed, but you crave redemption or a second chance for them. I don't want to see them plummeting to their deaths at the end as they did in my favorite childhood Disney movies. These complex characters remind me of the depravity of man. Each one of us is a step a way from self destruction. One common theme you see in villains is they always seem to end worse off then when they began their quest to harm another. By God's grace He has given me a second birth in Him to live a life pleasing to Him. I no longer have to wallow in my sin and self destruction. I can find redemption in Him as is the hope of all who believe in Him. Every human being on the planet is a step away from these dark paths if not for the grace of God. Even when we do fail, He is a God of redemption and second chances.

       Why do I love "the bad guy?" Because they remind me that I would be just as bad without my Savior.

His Coffers are Full

  Some days I find myself struggling with life. For the most part I'd like to think I am a grateful person content with my state of life. After all, I do have a wonderful family, a job that brings me great joy, another job that stretches me, good neighbors and a Bible believing church to attend. I also praise the Lord for many wonderful friends that constantly challenge me. Yet despite these good fortunes, there are times when the devil gets a hold of my heart and I complain.

   Just like the children of Israel in the wilderness, I find myself wanting more of what I do not have. God granted the Israelites their safety and freedom to enter the Promised Land just as He has blessed me with all the things I mentioned before, yet in our human nature it never seems enough.

    A few times this week I found myself in the midst of a pity party. Why did God allow a car accident to happen, why can't I find a car, why can't I get full time work, why can't I be a better teacher, why is everything always a struggle? Why, why why??? It seemed the only thing I could think about. At the same time I was frustrated because I knew there are bigger problems than my own.

    This weekend I was able to talk to a friend going through similar trials of her own. Together we discussed our need to rely on God through these difficult times in life, but I finally had my "aha" moment in church yesterday morning. There we sang the old hymn "Child of the King." The first verse says," His coffers are full, He has riches untold." The chorus follows up by stating, "with Jesus my Savior, I'm a child of the King."

   BAM! Here I am worrying about where the money for my next bill will come from when I need look no further than my own Heavenly Father. I've always said that every time things get hard, the money, the transportation or whatever is always supplied. Philippians 4:19 confirms this from God's Word. Yes, life does get hard, and I do need to do what I can to live life pleasing to God. However, He knows my needs and He has always provided. To worry and pity myself is foolish. Instead I should be thankful for the protection God gave me in my car accident. After all, it was an accident and something important I learned from. The car search may not have been fruitful yet, but that may mean God wants me to wait for a car that will meet my needs without the frustrations of a shot gun purchase. The same can be said of looking for full time work, and I certainly am learning much about becoming a better teacher in my current positions. As I trust Him and look to my King's guidance, everything else will begin to fall into place. I am already thinking of many things I can do in the absence of my pity parties.

   There may not be a Robin Hood and his band of Merry Men in my life to help me out in my time of crisis, but that's ok because I have Someone far better. My Heavenly Father and King, my God who loves me so much He sent his only Son to die for me, so I can become His child. I am a daughter of the King, a princess, and I know He will provide for my every need. This serves as a more blessed place of thought than my own self reliance.

Destinies are Troublesome Things Indeed

This morning during my quiet time with the Lord, I read this quote that has been sticking with me:

"Sow an act, and you reap a habit. Sow a habit, and you reap a character. Sow a character, and you reap a destiny." ~Anonymous

What a thought! This quote basically is saying that one choice you make today can determine the course of your life. This may sound harsh or perhaps dramatic, but I truly believe there is some great truth in this statement. For example, if I choose to trust myself today, then next time I might do the same. Before I know it, I am trusting myself and God falls to the wayside. This is no way to live my life, but I know far too often I can fall into the snare of these temptations.

    On the way to school I was listening to the radio. The particular discussion centered around how exciting it can be to look at yourself 10 years ago. The radio host said that even on your crappiest day if you look back on where you were 10 years ago, you will feel happier when you see how far you have come. "Give yourself a pat on the back," he said.

     I disagree. Sure, my life has changed a lot over the past 10 years. I would even say my life has indeed changed for the better, and furthermore, it is encouraging on a crappy day. The problem I heard in the conversation was no mention of God. Nothing in my life that is worth having is here because of my own merit. Everything "I" have accomplished, all of "my" relationships, and every blessing "I" own in life has nothing to do with me. These are all the rich blessings from my ever merciful and gracious God.

      This past week I have been going through one of life's tougher type of experiences. Truly it isn't anything too tragic, but it is a trial none-the-less. It has been a week when I am reminded how much I am in need of a Savior. As a human, I am so fallible, but God in His mercy still continues to meet my needs no matter what mistakes I make. My prayer would be to act in a way that trusts the Lord which would lead to a habit of prayer which would lead to a godly character and finally a destiny of one who constantly lives out the Lord's will.

    These trials prove that life is never easy, but He is still so good.

The Call

  So my amazing and talented friend affectionately known as Sarai made this video about our favorite tv show Merlin.

A few weeks ago, Sarai, our friend Emily and I watched the epic (and oh so very sad) end to this series. That is actually not the point of this post though, well not completely anyway. It's really the song that has inspired the ramblings about to take place here.
   So roughly a year ago I found myself in a great panic  with a great mixture of emotions. It was the day I head back for my final semester of college which meant student teaching. I remember freaking out in the car as my little brother dropped me off for the last leg of my trip. I had those ridiculous feelings of how the last 3.5 years had been a mistake and maybe I should just leave it all behind. By God's grace I pulled myself together and headed off for an incredible journey.
    I remember feeling quite anxious as I returned to the familiar college campus that had become a second home to me, walking to my first orientation classes for student teaching and savoring every "this is the last time I am going to....for a while" moments. Looking back, I don't remember why I was so worked up, but new experiences and great change seem to do that.
    Then the Lord showed me Romans 8:28 - "And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them that are called according to His purpose."
       This verse really changed my perspective on everything. That day I received reassurance from my professor about things I was going to face, the Lord really took care of my finances  and living and transportation issues were soon worked out. Another struggle was parting ways with the people I came to know and love in my college community (and church). Then I remembered the experience of these same feelings when I left for college in the first place. What a reminder that anything I was about to face would work out.
      This is where my little epic Merlin video comes into play. The Lord had given me a call and what a journey it was. Student teaching changed my life in many ways, and I am so thankful for the great adventure it was. Of course there were no griffins to defeat, unicorns to save or poisoned chalices - I didn't end up in jail, on a deathbed, lost in a forest or anything like that. However, I would argue I figuratively did just that. I experienced the joys of seeing a student's face light up when they got an answer, while on the other hand I tried to maintain a good face teaching while the reality of my grandfather's death set in. Many different things happened in student teaching, and I met so many amazing people. Lately I have been going through different journals and such I kept of this adventure. So thankful to have these recorded memories and remember how sweet this time of life was.
      Now I am experiencing life as a teacher. I love my jobs, and what a joy to work with children each and every day. It never ceases to amaze me how many things happen in a day that remind me of my time spent with those 25 students last winter. They may not have been my every own class, but they will forever hold a special place in my heart as my first school students. I feel truly blessed to have this calling in life, and even more grateful that God's grace gave me the strength to overcome my anxiety and face this experience head on. It was a once in a life time experience expressed my so many emotions.
    Emily, if you are reading this, you are in for a real treat this semester. I cannot wait to hear about your experiences as you answer your call and face your destiny. ;-)