Saturday, September 19, 2015

New Every Morning


"It is of the Lord's mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not. They are new every morning: great is your faithfulness." - Lamentations 3:22-23



Whew! What a week. At the moment I can't remember when I experienced one so trying. I feel like I'm going all Anne of Green Gables dramatic right now, but this week is one I would care not to repeat. The week has been an emotional roller coaster, and several situations exploded at the same time. For me personally, none of it was super bad, just overwhelming all at once. Despite the emotional and mental toll, it has been a grand learning experience.
I am now in my fourth year of teaching preschool. The first year was a challenge because it was my first time to teach. I had spent 4 years preparing for elementary education only to be thrown into preschool. It took that year to have an idea of what is expected in such an environment. Year 2 allowed me to put it into practice. Year 3 I switched schools and went an age level down. I now teach 3 year olds as opposed to 4&5's. You wouldn't think a year difference would be a big deal, but trust me, as I was warned, it does. Though challenging, I came to love it. I was excited entering into this year, and truthfully I still am. However, this class has another set of new challenges. I really don't wanted to broadcast specifics on the internet, so bear with me. The first month is always hard because many of my students have never been in school before. It takes a while for them to go with the flow and fall into routine. Mix this with unforeseen challenges, it takes a toll.
Here over the weekend, I struggled to keep up with my weekend job. Each time I thought I was catching up, I seemed to slip further behind. Then the inner struggle began. The kind where I battle covetousness and entitlement all the while knowing how wrong it is.
Basically all week I have felt like a failure. 
A failure as a teacher, an employee, a friend, a daughter, a sister, a Christian. Yet all week the Lord kept bringing this verse in Lamentations to mind. It kept me going each day. It even allowed me to have  a couple good days amidst the chaos. His mercies are new every morning. No matter how bad a day or perhaps just a moment may be, His mercies will be new. Each rising sun is a blank slate on a new day. A new day to learn from my mistakes. A new day to practice patience, try a new method, say a kind word, ask for forgiveness, try again, read and cherish His Word. It's a chance to invest in someone else instead a wallowing in self-pity. It is a chance to see the good that's been progressing while I've been absorbed with the bad.
As I pondered writing this post, I thought about how I have been reading through Job in my morning devotions. Without realizing it, my week seems to have been a test. Granted, my family didn't die nor did I lose everything I owned. Nothing was as bad as Job experienced, but my faith was tested. I can't say I had a good attitude in all of these situations, but I kept coming back to this truth found in Job 19:25-27:
"For I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He shall stand at the latter day upon the earth: And though after my skin is destroyed, yet in my flesh I shall see God. Whom I shall see for myself, and my eyes shall behold, and not another, though my heart be consumed within me."
What reassurance! The trials of this week won't be the last I ever experience. Some days may be worse and probably will be. Yet, the God of all Creation is on my side. His power is made perfect in my weakness. (2 Cor. 2:19) I never have to suffer through any of this hurt, trial and tribulation alone. The problem is I have to be willing to give it over to Him first. I seem to want to handle it all on my own, but I can't. Instead of relinquishing control, I fret over the fact that I can't by myself. This is when the feeling of failure take hold and consume me. When I give it to Him, His compassions consume me, and His new mercies are present for me to see.
I know I am a sinner and come short of His glory (Rom 3:23). He knows I am not perfect, yet He still loves me and gives more grace. When I reflect on these many verses, it is hard to stay bitter, angry or hurt. The more I think about it, I become grateful for the teachings of my parents, grandparents, teachers and church leaders who have been a part of my Bible memory and teaching experiences. To go through this life without God and His Word would prove more than I could bear. Counting my blessings really does feel my heart with joy, and all the struggles from the past week begin to fade away.
The passage in Lamentations goes onto say:
"The Lord is my portion, says my soul; therefore will I hope in Him. The Lord is good to them that seek Him, to the soul that waits on Him."
I don't have to have it all together all the time and do it all, all by myself. I need to look to Him. Gain strength from Him to face the day. To seek wisdom from Him, strength for the day, guidance for the path, and the rest will fall into place in His own perfect timing.
 Here's to better days and new mercies every morning at the start of a brand new week!




Monday, January 12, 2015

The Heart of the Matter





          
 A couple years ago, I wrote a post about the bad guy. I used several fictional characters to illustrate my point. Summed up, I mentioned that there are villainous characters I feel for because of their stories. All of us go through struggles in life, and they can make or break us. Through God’s grace, we are saved and can do good for others, but not all take this chance. Villains show me my own fleshly vulnerability, and in turn reminds me to examine my life as a follower of Jesus Christ.
                I think it is time to revisit this issue, and share some new views I have on this matter. Perhaps I have been living under a rock my whole life or maybe I am correct in saying that there seems to be a trend of idolizing the bad guys. Many reasons exist for this – there may be more character development, the actor or actress may be more appealing in looks and nature than the rest of the cast or perhaps people just enjoy living life vicariously through the baddie’s side. I’m sure many more reasons exist for this, but I digress.
                                                                 

                I used to enjoy watching the show, Once Upon a Time. This season I decided to give it up. I can save some time and sum up my reasons as being I was too emotionally involved with a tv show. That’s all it is, and there are more important things I should spend my time doing. However, the issues at hand did get me thinking. A line I heard repeatedly through the show was, “Evil is not born; it is made.”
                                                                 

                I agree to the extent that our surroundings shape who we are. The Lord has blessed me with a godly Christian heritage, loving family, food and shelter, supportive friends, Christian education, freedoms and the list goes on and on. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I owe a lot of who I am to the Lord and His blessings as well as the people He has placed in my life. Not all are so blessed as I am. Desperation and deprivation can lead people down some dark paths, and I understand that. The thing is – it doesn't have to be that way. The opposite can be said of both scenarios. People who are blessed as I are still capable of making poor choices that lead to death and destruction, just as people from less fortunate scenarios are fully capable of rising to the challenge and making a difference for good in this world.
                                                                    

                Every human no matter who you are is born the same – a sinner. Romans 3:23 tells that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Jeremiah 17 tells us that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. It is the Lord who knows the heart and can heal it. So you see, we are all born evil. We are born selfish, wanting our way and doing what it takes to get it. This is where God’s grace comes in to play. He has made a way to save us from our sins. He gave us His Word to teach us how to be saved and how to live for Him.
                                                

                Now it takes work, and it also takes roots. This is why Jesus commands in Matthew 16 to go into the world and preach unto the nations. We are to share our knowledge of salvation with others, so they may believe in Christ and be saved. The Lord has also given instruction to parents, pastors and various church leaders to shepherd minds with the knowledge of Christ. So yes, many people turn down dark paths because they have not yet heard there was another way or they chose to neglect salvation.
                                                                     
                My point is this – evil is born, and then we have a choice. We can accept the gift of salvation or we can neglect it. We can choose God’s goodness and light or we can remain in the darkness. Ultimately it comes down to a matter of heart and not circumstance. It is the most important choice we can make. Seeing this issue taken so lightly in our culture and media is troublesome. So now, I must make a choice to deter from idolizing wickedness and look to encourage and reflect goodliness.