Becoming a teacher is
truly one of the biggest blessings the Lord has given me. Since I began student
teaching nearly four years ago, many memories ranging from sweet to sad, from
exciting to scary, or hilarious to maddening flood my mind. Teaching reveals
how much I am still learning on a constant basis. Researching new units to
teach excites me as I recall and study facts about the amazing world God has
created. The Lord granted me a desire of my heart when He graciously allowed me
the opportunity to work with children. While I do feel privileged to hold such
a position, I have also discovered it is a responsibility that comes
with many challenges. One of the most difficult challenges I feel I face more
and more these days is defiance.
One definition of defiance
is open disregard, contempt. As I prepare my classroom in the summer or work
ahead on my lesson plans, I have a picture of sweet smiling faces enjoying the
activity prepared for them. Then comes the day when the students arrive and the
plan is executed. Suddenly, Billy wants to play with the trucks and Susie wants
to read in the corner while Bobby is trying to tap Mary’s shoulder. Now comes
the time for discipline and classroom management. In college, one is told to
come up with routines and procedures for such events. Generally speaking, I
have experienced success in my routines and procedures for classroom times
until this year. With a young class equipped with shorter attention spans and
several students still learning English, I’m learning to adjust my ways. I know
this part of the growing experience for me as a teacher, but the behavior
issues are still there.
When a student looks you
in the eye and tells you no or turns around and does the exact opposite of your
instruction with that attitude of open disregard or contempt, it hurts. I know
God loves this child and has placed him or her in my care. They are my student,
and I love them deeply. It
is this love which drives my desire for them to learn and what is more, enjoy it. Yet, in these defiant moments, it would seem the child could care
less. Perhaps care less is too dramatic of a phrase, but some of the children’s
responses really make me wonder. If nothing else, this year continues to stretch me in ways I never thought
possible, and I am learning a lot more about classroom management and
discipline. In the long run, this will be best for my professional growth and
more importantly my spiritual growth.
Defiance – it’s not fun to
feel defied, and even less fun when I remember that I am a sinner. As children
defy the classroom rules and directions, I see myself in the eyes of God. How
many times do I know I shouldn’t watch that television show, say that hurtful
thing, ignore that responsibility, and yet I go ahead and do it? James 4:17
says, “So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is
sin.” What a humbling thought! Much to my shame, I realize that I struggle with
this very thing. Proverbs 10:17 says, “Whoever heeds instruction is on the path
to life, but he who rejects reproof leads others astray.” This realization of
my defiance to the Lord is a real eye opener. I must use these reminders from
my students as reproof from the Lord. Whether it mean get an accountability
partner, spend more time in the Word or follow through on a God given
responsibility, I must obey. The Bible teaches to ignore such warnings can lead
others astray. I also miss out on God’s blessings when I decide I know better
than He does. Defying God cannot bring about success. Something must change.
Thankfully, God offers forgiveness as shown in 1 John 1:9 “If we
confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse
us from all unrighteousness.” Once the defiance is recognized, the sin must be
confessed, and the Lord will forgive. I can only begin to imagine how the Lord
must feel when defy Him think knowing how it hurts me when I my directions are
defied. Even with repeat offenses, the Lord continues to forgive me. With
Christ’s example of mercy and grace in my life, I must reflect the same to my
students on these difficult days. When the defiant looks begin and the situation
begins to unravel, I must remember to rest in the Lord for help and follow His
example. As God promised so long ago in Deuteronomy 31:6, “Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of
them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or
forsake you.” I am never forsaken, and my God is ready to help me if I
only give the situation on my own. Forgetting His help and attempting to handle
the situation on my own is simply defiance.
