Grow Up

     

  If you know me well, you may know that I am a fan of BBC. Robin Hood, Merlin, Sherlock, Doctor Who....okay, you all get it - I am a nerd. One of the reasons I became such a fan girl is because of my friends, Sarah and Emily who introduced me to Merlin. The rest sort of followed, but whatever - none of you need to know the entire history of my epic nerdiness. The reason I enjoy these fandoms we share is because of the life lessons we draw from them. Before you freak out, please know that I do not use tv shows to guide my every step. It's just sometimes in our nerdy discussions, we end up rabbit trailing onto some great spiritual truth from something that we have learned. Visit Sarah and you'll see what I mean.

    Ok - so here is what I have been thinking a lot about lately. Above you will see a beautiful lady named Marian. Actually her name is Lucy Griffiths, but let's not kill the moment. Marian is of course the infamous love of Robin Hood's life. Every telling of the legend is different, but BBC presents Marian as a head strong girl quite capable of taking care of herself. She had to because Robin left her alone while he went to fight in the Crusades. Upon his return, he was shocked to find that Marian's father had been overthrown as sheriff and an evil man had taken his place. Robin Hood stated that he would not tolerate this injustice. He gave up all that he had (another lesson for another day) to live as an outlaw in the woods, protecting the people from the corrupted Prince John and the evil sheriff.

    Robin Hood sounds like a great hero, and in fact I think he rather was. The problem was at times he would make rash decisions because things were not fair. He ended up in jams because he wanted his own way. Marian knew how the system worked after all her years spent in Nottingham without King Richard's protection. She knew they could not have their own way all the time. She had found her own way to help others by becoming the Night Watchman. 

  As the Night Watchman, Marian was able to help those in need without openly defying the powers that be. She protected herself and those she helped by keeping her true identity a secret. This way she could serve for a long time to come. There were times when she encouraged Robin to do the same for the complete protection of the people. To do this she would constantly tell him, "Grow up."

    Robin and Marian both had to make many tough decisions for England. It meant self sacrifice and giving up things they wanted. When Robin would discourage Marian from making these choices, she always gave the same reply, "Grow up."

     Friends, this is what I must do. "Grow up." I have decided that I too have been holding on too tight to what I decided is right rather than what I know is right. It is time that I give up my selfish dreams and do something that counts. It is time that I stop living for self, and completely and totally surrender myself to God. Honestly, this has been my desire in life, but in growing up, I realize there is yet more I must do. 

     All of the sudden I find myself pursuing goals I used to be afraid of pursuing. I am not yet ready to announce to the world wide web what all this may entail, but if you think about it, please pray. I am on the verge of making a big decision that could change my life forever. That probably sounds a lot more dramatic than it is. Really it is all in God's hands, and I seek His guidance. Let's just say I have a teaching degree and there's a great big wide world out there.

       "Grow up" - "Okay!"

Perspective

    The last weeks have really been a fast pace learning experience. What's new, huh? I guess that is what happens when you are working in a couple different fields at once, not to mention the fact that what I do changes every couple of months. For the last session of the after school program I work for, I was longer tutoring, but strictly assisting with the YMCA.

      I must say I am so grateful the Lord brought about the tutoring job because that is how everything started. I enjoyed being able to solely focus upon a career in teaching and working with children because that is where my heart lies. However, the tutoring was challenging and I admittedly got frustrated quite often. It proved to be a great training in patience and understanding. It took me a very long time to learn these lessons, and I am sure I haven't learned all there is to learn about handling these situations. These last 6 weeks have altered my perspective greatly.

     It hit me that the reason I was struggling with teaching these precious children is I do not share their perspective on life. Going in I realized that they would be coming from completely different backgrounds, but I guess I never stopped to think just how different. Different doesn't have to be a bad thing, but different leads to different feelings, different thoughts, different reactions and the list goes on. The way I was trained on how to deal with things growing up did not match how my students deal with things. Thus the conflict and frustration.

      My desire is to be a good teacher and that means putting the child first. There are times when I just don't know how to react because I want to do what is best for the child. Since I am a human too, I know I have made mistakes when frustration and even anger take hold. Again, the last six weeks is what I needed. Before I was only getting about 2 hours a day with a select amount of the children. Basically the same group of kids all the time. When I began working with the whole program, I was exposed to more of the children for longer amounts of time. This is when things began to click.

       Will I ever get inside their heads and truly understand how they feel about things - no. I did not grow up the same way, BUT from being around them more, I have a better knowledge of where they are coming from. Just imagining myself in their shoes helps the world make a little more sense. I still struggle with my classroom management skills, but it is a work in progress. Being around the kids more led to them knowing me better. This is turn provided more respect from both parties, and things began to change for the better.

        What the last six weeks really taught me is how much I take for granted. I mean, it sounds cliche' and it is. I know I take things for granted, but I just never really thought of how extremely blessed I am. I come from a stable home and a close knit extended family. My family is by no means perfect, but the Lord brought everything together and I always feel supported. Not only is my family together, but we have a nice house, a big yard, a driveway, vehicles for everyone, constant supply of food, a Bible believing church, great friends. My parents have also provided my brothers and I with a Christian education, I was able to complete 4 years at Bible college, and I got 3 education related jobs my first year out of school in this tough economy. I have always been thankful for those things, and some of that is more important than other things on the list, but how often do I really think about all of those things together. Some people do not even have one of the things on that list and some of them might be the kids I go to work with everyday. It makes me feel greedy because there are times when I desire more in life, and yet to some people, I have everything in the world. Reality has slapped me hard these last 6 weeks and I could go on longer. Instead I will end with this, my perspective is changing, and my prayer would be to be more grateful for what the Lord has given me, and be more understanding to those who struggle.

Graduation Gown

So today after my pre-k kiddos finished their end of the year closing program, a couple of the girls tried on their graduation gowns to see if they would do the trick. Yes, it is already the time of year to be talking closing programs and graduation. As a matter of fact,  I have now been out of college for a whole entire year. What? I mean, wasn't I just trying to wrap my mind around the fact that senior year has arrived?

     This year brought a lot of new into my life. At the beginning of the school year I seem to remember blogging about how wonderful life was. I have enjoyed many of these moments immensely, but not everything has been easy. Juggling 2-3 jobs has proved difficult at times, but I believe I have finally been given the right balance. The Lord always knows just what I need. I am happy to say I will be teaching pre-kindergarten for at least one more year and working strictly with the extended day program partnership of the YMCA and a city school. I really do love the diversity and experience these situations bring me. I feel like I have seen and learned a lot this year, but I know I have only begun to scratch the surface of working with children in educational settings.

      I have also enjoyed being at home and the opportunities that brings. I feel a lot closer to my family now that I am able to be a part of all festivities. I love our schedules as we are apart enough to not get on each other's nerves too much. My extended family is the best and I didn't realize how much I was missing until I came back home. I have also reconnected with old friends and made many new friends. I also had several good and bad car experiences, but I am grateful for the freedom of my own wheels. Among all of this, I am still learning about good money management. Basically I am learning to live life in the real world, and it's going pretty well considering the big picture. This feels like one of the fastest years of my life, but then again, time does fly when you're having fun. Looking forward to seeing what year 2 brings my way!

Family

I'm surprised I have never done a post like this before, for this is a topic I think a lot about. This post is about family. I could go on and on about how I have the best family ever, but no one but my own family wants to hear that. I believe family like so many other things in this world is one of those things that God places you in based on personality, experience, etc. Some days it bothers me when people say they have the best family ever because I feel like I do. That's silly though, because we're all right I think. Your family is a precious God given gift, and that my friends means it is the best. The best situation for you.

    This is why I am so passionate about the subject. I think back on all of I have been through in my life. Friends have come and gone, jobs, school, cars, etc have all done the same. I think of my closest circle of friends and each one of them could probably tell you a little bit about my history in these areas. However, family - well they could probably say something about each. My family and this includes, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins have always been there for me, and I for them. They came to my school plays, graduations, birthday parties, church functions and of course holidays. It's just cool to think about how we have all grown and changed together, but yet we are always as close as we always are.

     I am so grateful for all of my friends, but this stage of life with family is so nice. Not only are they my family, but many of them are some of my closest friends too. It is nice to share your experiences with people who love you and have always been there.

      Writing this also reminds me of my heavenly Father. Not only has He always been there, but He knows my thoughts and heart too. His guidance is precious as one who holds all of this knowledge and knows what is best for me.

     This post is very rambling, but I just love my family so much, and I am grateful for all the time we have spent together. It is nice to be reminded of the people who love and care about you and you the same for them.

Bird Nest Project

Some days I wonder why I have a blog. I am pretty sure few people read it. This may be because I do not broadcast it often. After all, I don't have cute kids and stories to share, well with permission anyway. I do not believe it my place to tell all about my students. However, I recently thought how thankful I am for the resources the internet supplies in my lesson planning. With this in mind my goal is to share some of my projects I do in my classroom.

First up in my bird nest project. The inspiration for this project came from Dr. Seuss Read Across America week. My mom let me borrow her Seuss book from her kindergarten classroom, and I chose to read "My Nest is Best" to my 2 day class. The book goes over how birds collect various objects when building their nest. This made me think how fun it would be for the kids to make nests of their own. This project allows for creativity, but I will go over what we did and what I would change in the future.

First of all I will say that I love small groups. I do have an assistant, so this makes this possible for me. I don't always have the time for group work, but I love it when I do. Though I only had the one craft planned for this day, I did make it into 2 parts.

My assistant led the bird group. For this part I had stencils of birds for the kids to trace. We are trying to focus on pre-writing skills, so  I am hoping to do a lot of tracing activities in the weeks to come. I had a bird cut-out that I believe originally came from Microsoft Word clip art. You can find whatever shape would work best for you. I wish I would have picked a cut out a little more defined. Many of the children thought they were cutting out a fish. I also meant to have them glue feathers onto their cut out, but I forgot to get them out. If you have the time, I think it would be fun to decorate the birds with feather, googly eyes, markers, etc. This may be more appropriate for longer sessions, older children or a deeper study on birds. We gave the children the choice of blue, brown or red for their bird, but the possibilities are endless. The kids finished this part by gluing their bird to a background paper. We used gray, but again, you could change it as needed.

Now that we had the fine motor skills working with the birds, we needed the nest. I gave each child a half of a paper plate. I had them assemble their nest on the part that scoops in so it would be easier to glue the nest to the background page. I made a mud mixture by blending food coloring together until it looked brownish. All I can say for that is experiment! They really seemed to get into the fact that their glue looked like mud. Just be sure they realize it is glue for their objects and not just paint. Some were getting so into painting it, that they were letting the glue dry before they put anything "nesty" on it. I have them q-tips to spread the glue, but I think paint brushes would work better with glue. Normally we find that the little fingers handle the q-tips better, but the fuzzy and glue don't work together well.

I placed the muddy glue around the objects. They could choose cut up paper, ribbon, yarn, straws, felt, pipe cleaners and tissue paper for their nest. I had some left over supplies from previous crafts, so many things were already cut. However, anything new I left for them to cut to get in that fine motor skill practice. They all seemed to gravitate toward the same type of material, but it was a joy to see their creativity  I think I have them too many color options because the supplies looked like a nest, but the colors detracted from the project at hand. It's pk since they did get to express creativity, and sometimes it is good to just recycle and use what you have.

In the end they really turned out cute, and I believe the children had fun putting them together. I enjoyed hanging the final products up for a new spring bulletin board. I am ready to put winter behind us, and what better way than nest building! I glued their nests on after they left for the day. They did glue their birds, but I wanted to test out the durability of their nests. I encouraged them to drag yarn, pipe cleaners and anything like that right through the glue so it would stay. Over all they held together well. Most things that fell off I was able to replace right where the child had originally placed it.

Hopefully I can be more faithful about sharing my teaching ideas. With my 3 day class we did the paper plate "Cat in the Hat" craft you can find here. They turned out adorable, and I was able to split the groups into 2 as well. One group painted while the other assembled the hat and face. My first Dr. Seuss week as a teacher seemed to go well overall. With that being said,  Happy Crafting and Happy Springtime! 

Many Oneths

       I guess I could start out by saying the most recent "oneth" of life is hearing one of my pre-kers substitute the term first for oneth. Never a dull moment with those kiddos. Honestly, this year has been full of may firsts. Obviously I have experienced the joys of my first teaching positions. The Lord also blessed me with various ministry opportunities in my home church. A few road trips and various family outings also bring new experiences to add to that list of oneths. Overall, life has been good, but I've also been learning a lot through first time experience.

      It would be great to say that all these firsts in life have been terrific. From previous blog posts it may seem like my life is near perfect and I'm enjoying every single moment. This could not be far from the truth. I have felt the frustrations that come with teaching such as the feeling of lost classroom control. I also have experienced a couple negative driving experiences, and as always - there are my everyday human failures that affect family and friend relationships. I don't want it to seem as if life is all bleak and I'm miserable, but it would be unrealistic to paint a perfect picture of my life.

       Through all my short comings God is still God, and just as any good Father would, He always seems to have a loving lesson to teach me. It may not be an easy lesson to learn, and I may not get it right away. I would say the greatest lesson I have learned recently is patience. I can be one of those people that needs to go-go-go all day. This causes rushing and impatience on my part. Through these recent failures of mine, I've been learning to breathe a little more. I find that when I act as if I have all the time in the world, things get done timely AND in order. I still find myself rushing through life at times, but it truly is getting better. I know they say you shouldn't pray for patience, but I feel like this is one of the most beneficial lessons of my life so far. Taking time and enjoying these life moments give me the chance to love more deeply and live more purely. I still have many many short comings, and so much in my life needs changing. After all no one ever stops learning or growing in life. My heart is truly thankful for this lesson in patience the Lord has seen fit to teach me. My prayer would be it shapes me into a better teacher, daughter, sister, friend and most importantly a woman after God's own heart.

The Bad Guy

       

                A few months ago I had to smile when a 5 year old described for me the events of Lincoln's assassination. In his words, the reason John Wilkes Boothe killed the President of the United States was simply "cuz he's the bad guy." When I think back on my 5 year old mind, that's what evil came down to - he's the bad guy. Max was right in a way. After all I don't believe Mr. Boothe had much good in his heart when he pulled trigger. However, I no longer believe that reasons for evil are always because "he's the bad guy."

        I mentioned a few posts back that my friends and I enjoy the British drama "Merlin." The show centered around Merlin and 3 other characters. One was the infamous Morgan Le Fey though in this particular adaption of the legend her name was Morgana Pendragon. The show begins with Merlin, Morgana and their friends Arthur and Gwen working together for the good of the kingdom, but over time Morgana becomes the arch nemesis of Camelot. Merlin, Arthur and Gwen spent their time trying to defeat her. In the end was I happy to see the end to "the bad guy?" No, because I saw what drove her to such madness. Though I never condoned her actions and the character did upset me many many times, I sympathized with her plight in life. She was lied to time and time again, and she was left with nowhere to turn. The only person who offered her comfort in trouble was the person who led her to a path of destruction. My heart ached for this bad guy.

        Several other movies and shows I've seen lately draw the same emotion for me. Many movie goers enjoyed Avengers over the past summer. I must agree that Loki was a bit full of himself, but he did have to live in the shadow of his older brother all of his life. Guy of Gisborne from BBC Robin Hood was never one of my favorites, but you could see the battle in his mind. He wanted to do right by Marian, but he also wanted to make a name for himself after suffering the great loss of his parents as a child. Regina from Once Upon a Time also sunk beneath the weight of her family issues.

      Am I saying there is an excuse for evil? No way! Sin is sin, and sin must be punished. There is a line in a song called "Angel" by Within Temptation that gets me every time. It says, "This world may have failed you, it doesn't give you the reason why. You could have chosen a different path in life." How true this is. Life can really be tough sometimes, and some people seem to have it tougher than others. Really it can be a wonder that more people don't wonder around tearing apart people's lives or coming up with evil plans to take over the world.

      This is why I believe I have come to appreciate good villains in stories. I love when a writer can create a scenario when you sympathize with the bad guy. You may not want to see their plan succeed, but you crave redemption or a second chance for them. I don't want to see them plummeting to their deaths at the end as they did in my favorite childhood Disney movies. These complex characters remind me of the depravity of man. Each one of us is a step a way from self destruction. One common theme you see in villains is they always seem to end worse off then when they began their quest to harm another. By God's grace He has given me a second birth in Him to live a life pleasing to Him. I no longer have to wallow in my sin and self destruction. I can find redemption in Him as is the hope of all who believe in Him. Every human being on the planet is a step away from these dark paths if not for the grace of God. Even when we do fail, He is a God of redemption and second chances.

       Why do I love "the bad guy?" Because they remind me that I would be just as bad without my Savior.