The Heart of the Matter

          

 A couple years ago, I wrote a post about the bad guy. I used several fictional characters to illustrate my point. Summed up, I mentioned that there are villainous characters I feel for because of their stories. All of us go through struggles in life, and they can make or break us. Through God’s grace, we are saved and can do good for others, but not all take this chance. Villains show me my own fleshly vulnerability, and in turn reminds me to examine my life as a follower of Jesus Christ.

                I think it is time to revisit this issue, and share some new views I have on this matter. Perhaps I have been living under a rock my whole life or maybe I am correct in saying that there seems to be a trend of idolizing the bad guys. Many reasons exist for this – there may be more character development, the actor or actress may be more appealing in looks and nature than the rest of the cast or perhaps people just enjoy living life vicariously through the baddie’s side. I’m sure many more reasons exist for this, but I digress.

                                                                 

                I used to enjoy watching the show, Once Upon a Time. This season I decided to give it up. I can save some time and sum up my reasons as being I was too emotionally involved with a tv show. That’s all it is, and there are more important things I should spend my time doing. However, the issues at hand did get me thinking. A line I heard repeatedly through the show was, “Evil is not born; it is made.”

                                                                 

                I agree to the extent that our surroundings shape who we are. The Lord has blessed me with a godly Christian heritage, loving family, food and shelter, supportive friends, Christian education, freedoms and the list goes on and on. I have a lot to be grateful for, and I owe a lot of who I am to the Lord and His blessings as well as the people He has placed in my life. Not all are so blessed as I am. Desperation and deprivation can lead people down some dark paths, and I understand that. The thing is – it doesn't have to be that way. The opposite can be said of both scenarios. People who are blessed as I are still capable of making poor choices that lead to death and destruction, just as people from less fortunate scenarios are fully capable of rising to the challenge and making a difference for good in this world.

                                                                    

                Every human no matter who you are is born the same – a sinner. Romans 3:23 tells that all have sinned and come short of the glory of God. Jeremiah 17 tells us that the heart is deceitful and desperately wicked. It is the Lord who knows the heart and can heal it. So you see, we are all born evil. We are born selfish, wanting our way and doing what it takes to get it. This is where God’s grace comes in to play. He has made a way to save us from our sins. He gave us His Word to teach us how to be saved and how to live for Him.

                                                

                Now it takes work, and it also takes roots. This is why Jesus commands in Matthew 16 to go into the world and preach unto the nations. We are to share our knowledge of salvation with others, so they may believe in Christ and be saved. The Lord has also given instruction to parents, pastors and various church leaders to shepherd minds with the knowledge of Christ. So yes, many people turn down dark paths because they have not yet heard there was another way or they chose to neglect salvation.

                                                                     

                My point is this – evil is born, and then we have a choice. We can accept the gift of salvation or we can neglect it. We can choose God’s goodness and light or we can remain in the darkness. Ultimately it comes down to a matter of heart and not circumstance. It is the most important choice we can make. Seeing this issue taken so lightly in our culture and media is troublesome. So now, I must make a choice to deter from idolizing wickedness and look to encourage and reflect goodliness.  

                                                                        

Another Bend in the Road

Life happens. Some days you wake up thinking it will be a normal day, and at times that is exactly what the day is. Then there are the days when it feels as if your life will never be the same again. These feelings keep life exciting and perhaps a bit scary. You truly never know what will happen next.

   I am a self proclaimed dreamer. I am easily distracted and will easily settle into my day dreams if left to sit and think for too long. I have always had plans for my life, but alas - "For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts higher than your thoughts (Isaiah 55:9)." How true this is because I could not begin to dream up some of the turns my life has taken.

      As I contemplated writing this post, I began to think of how I could explain the latest decision in my life. Looking back on the journey it took to get where I now am, I am in awe of the Savior's design for my life. He is so much better at this whole planning thing than I am!

     About 12 years ago my world turned upside down when I was forced to change schools. For an introvert such as myself and highly adapted into my comfort zone, it felt like the world had ended. To make a long story short, I ended up at Veritas Academy where I made several dear and life long friends, expanded my world view and discovered that the Baptists aren't the only ones going to heaven,  traveled to many amazing places, and received a terrific education where I even became semi-okay with the whole public speaking thing. It was a transformation in my life for sure.

      Of course, that time came to an end and I headed off to college. I suppose I began that part of the journey thinking I would get an education degree to fall back on in hopes that I would become a wife and mother quickly. This did not happen, and for now I am thankful about that. You see, I LOVED studying to become a teacher. The more I observed and came up with lesson plans, the more I desired to have experience in a classroom of my very own. This desire was confirmed during an amazing student teaching experience. My host mother during this time constantly said something that has stuck with me to this day, "God never wastes an experience." Some days I may be confused and unable to understand why things happen or don't happen, but God does. He can use it for His honor and glory if I give these struggles to Him, and let Him work.

      So onto adult life I went with an elementary education degree in hand. My fondest dream was to return to Veritas - the school that had changed my life - and give back in ministry as a teacher. It almost happened that first year too, but God shut that door. The news came at first as a crushing blow. I was upset and maybe even felt a little betrayed, but I had to remember that Veritas was not the only school in the world. In hindsight, I probably would not have enjoyed the position as much as what I ended up doing. I am sure I would have enjoyed it well enough, but it goes to show that God knows better than I do.

       That summer I began frantically searching for another job to stay afloat. My mom happened to see that a little nursery school in southern PA was looking for teachers with elementary education degrees. I went for it. Lo and behold they hired me, and I have spent the last two years as a pre-kindergarten teacher. Turns out that I love this age group. Based on my experience spent with other ages, I know I enjoy them all, but my heart beats for the early education crew.

      My two years at JLNS have been amazing! I enjoyed each and every minute there. However, I faced a new challenge. I also have been working at an after school program to maintain full time hours, but the program that employs me is being closed down. I knew I would have to find something else. God, of course, was miles ahead of me. You see, Veritas was in the planning stages of opening a preschool. After some discussions, interviews and a lot of other details, the Lord opened the door for me to be a preschool teacher at Veritas.

       It was a difficult decision for me because I love where I work now, and I am going to miss my fellow staff and the children. However, I am super excited to return to my alma mater and teach. Not only do I get to teach there, I get to teach the age group I have fallen in love with. I am also excited to be on staff with my mother who has been a part of my inspiration in pursuing this dream. I should mention though, that the preschool is being hosted in a local church for rooming purposes. I will still be a part of the community, and that is thrilling.

    It is a bittersweet time now as I am beginning the transition. My old classroom has been packed away, and the boxes sit in the basement waiting to be moved to my new classroom. Lots of good memories, and an exciting adventure ahead. No matter what the adventure holds, I can truly see that God does not waste an experience. When I asked to teach at Veritas, He said, "Wait." He sent me to a preschool and fulfilled a desire of my heart. Now He is saying, "Yes." The future looks bright indeed.

Questions Not Usually Asked

I came across these questions on tumblr, and I thought it would be fun to answer them on this blog.

Questions not usually asked

• 1:Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?

Closed - open doors freak me out when I sleep

• 2:Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
• No, they usually only last one or two hair washes anyway
• 3:Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
• In at the bottom of the bed, out everywhere else
• 4:Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
• No, I am one of those boring goody two shoe types
• 5:Do you like to use post-it notes?
• I am a teacher, so of course! I use them for a variety of things
• 6:Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
• No, I don't even bother for that reason
• 7:Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
• Um....neither, but I guess a bear because I know to roll up in a ball. I have no idea what to do with a swarm of bees.
• 8:Do you have freckles?
• I do indeed, lots of them
• 9:Do you always smile for pictures?
• I try unless it's a silly face picture or something. I don't like pics of me not smiling
• 10:What is your biggest pet peeve?
• Loud eating noises like smacking lips and crunching with your mouth open
• 11:Do you ever count your steps when you walk?
• Not usually
• 14:Do you ever dance even if there's no music playing?
• I do.
• 15:Do you chew your pens and pencils?
• A little bit, but I with all the time spent around young children, I am very picky about putting things in my mouth
• 16:How many people have you slept with this week?
• I am unmarried, so none and it saddens me that this is a question that many people would actually find appropriate. Perhaps this is one of my biggest pet peeves
• 17:What size is your bed?
• double
• 18:What is your Song of the week?
• "I Choose You" -Sara Bairelles 
• 19:Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
• Depends on the guy and the shade and how much pink
• 20:Do you still watch cartoons?
• not really, but I'm not opposed
• 21:Whats your least favorite movie?
• Hmmm - I honestly don't know. I remember being really bored by Vantage Point though
• 22:Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
• Maybe, but I would probably meet financial needs and give to places I've always wanted to give more too, so who knows what would be left to bury
• 23:What do you drink with dinner?
• Mostly water
• 24:What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
• Ranch, but I do like BBQ and honey mustard too, and I always choose Chic-fil-a sauce if I have it
• 25:What is your favorite food?
• lasagna
• 26:What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
• The Lord of the Rings - they never disappoint
• 28:Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
• No, but 2 of my cousins are Eagle Scouts
• 29:Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
• Never - far be it for our world to appreciate purity
• 30:When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
• It was a few months ago to my friend, Sarah, but I forgot to send it. I sent her letters last summer though. I love snail mail!
• 31:Can you change the oil on a car?
• No, I have 2 brothers and they do an excellent job
• 32:Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
• Sadly the answer is yes
• 33:Ever ran out of gas?
• No, I am pretty paranoid about that and stay on top of it
• 34:Favorite kind of sandwich?
• any kind of tuna melt
• 35:Best thing to eat for breakfast?
• usually depends on my mood, but I do love cinnamon buns!
• 36:What is your usual bedtime?
• 11:00ish
• 37:Are you lazy?
• I can be
• 38:When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
• clown, cat, Pilgrim, Peter Rabbit's mother, princess, Minnie Mouse
• 39:What is your Chinese astrological sign?
• no idea
• 40:How many languages can you speak?
• uno
• 41:Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
• Nope
• 42:Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
• Lincoln Logs
• 43:Are you stubborn?
• depends - I am usually pretty easy going and go with the flow 
• 44:Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
• Leno
• 45:Ever watch soap operas?
• Isn't everything on tv a soap opera
• 46:Are you afraid of heights?
• heck yes
• 47:Do you sing in the car?
• it is the best place to do
• 48:Do you sing in the shower?
• of course, the acoustics are amazing
• 49:Do you dance in the car?
• I have been known to bust a few moves there, yes
• 50:Ever used a gun?
• BB gun - yes
• 51:Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
• back in October or November or whenever it was picture day at school
• 52:Do you think musicals are cheesy?
• No, I like many of them
• 53:Is Christmas stressful?
• It can be when I worry about schedules and forget what Christmas is about
• 54:Ever eat a pierogi?
• College did allow me such an experiment
• 55:Favorite type of fruit pie?
• Pretty much
• 56:Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
• artist, dolphin trainer, vet, horse instructor/ camp owner, teacher 
• 57:Do you believe in ghosts?
• Nope
• 58:Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
• Quite often actually
• 59:Take a vitamin daily?
• Nope
• 60:Wear slippers?
• sometimes
• 61:Wear a bath robe?
• every once and a while
• 62:What do you wear to bed?
• pj pants and old t-shirt
• 63:First concert?
• High Valley and Jeff & Sheri Easter
• 64:Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
• Target is my favorite, but I go to Wal Mart for the price
• 65:Nike or Adidas?
• Adidas, but my brother works for Nike so I'm slowly switching loyalties 
• 66:Cheetos Or Fritos?
• Cheetos
• 67:Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?
• Peanuts
• 68:Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
• No, I haven't
• 69:Ever take dance lessons?
• Yes- colonial and swing
• 70:Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
• not anything specific though I have thought of different things over the year
• 71:Can you curl your tongue?
• yes
• 72:Ever won a spelling bee?
• I don't think I ever participated in one
• 73:Have you ever cried because you were so happy?
• I sure have
• 74:Own any record albums?
• Nope
• 75:Own a record player?
• No, but I always enjoyed listening to my grandmother's record player
• 76:Regularly burn incense?
• No
• 77:Ever been in love?
• No
• 78:Who would you like to see in concert?
• Mumford & Sons
• 79:What was the last concert you saw?
• Fall Fest 2012 - Josh Turner and Gloriana
• 80:Hot tea or cold tea?
• I like both - so it really depends on the mood
• 81:Tea or coffee?
• Tea all the way
• 82:Sugar or snickerdoodles?
• sugar
• 83:Can you swim well?
• well enough - I do consider myself to be a fish
• 84:Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
• above water, yes - below water, no
• 85:Are you patient?
• I'm getting better - my traffic ticket did help with that
• 86:DJ or band, at a wedding?
• DJ
• 87:Ever won a contest?
• Yes, I have
• 88:Ever have plastic surgery?
• nope
• 89:Which are better black or green olives?
• Neither - olives are disgusting
• 90:Can you knit or crochet?
• I used to crochet, but I have recently started to loom knit
• 91:Best room for a fireplace?
• living room/family room
• 92:Do you want to get married?
• yes
• 93:If married, how long have you been married?
• still single
• 95:Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
• I can't say that I do, though I may try it on my brothers if I'm upset enough
• 96:Do you have kids?
• I don't, but I do have lots of students
• 97:Do you want kids?
• I do!
• 98:Whats your favorite color?
• purple
• 99:Do you miss anyone right now?
• Yes, several friends scattered around the country

The 2014 Liebster Award

So the other day I noticed that my friend, Sarai, posted on Facebook that she had been nominated for the 2014 Liebster Award in regards to her blog. I remember thinking I have absolutely no idea what that is, but that sounds really neat. If you have spent any time at all on Sarai's blog, you know that she is a beautiful and insightful writer. Her love for the Lord pours out through her eloquent words as it relates to her various life experiences. In my mind, no matter what the award was, she deserved it.

Upon further investigation I discovered it is a pay it forward type award. Bloggers nominate other bloggers for the award. So here I am with a nomination of my own from the lovely Sarai of Sarah's Saga herself. Sarai has been a friend of mine for close to a decade now. However, we have become extremely close over my college years. Whether we are stressing out about college and life on fangirling over our favorite British actors and BBC shows, we have a wonderful time. This girl loves the Lord with her whole heart, and she has been a constant encouragement in my life. So thank you, Sarai, for this chance!

Here are the rules of the Liebster Blog Award!

• Post the award on your blog.
• Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to their blog.
• Write 11 random facts about yourself.
• Answer 11 questions posted by your presenter.
• Nominate 5-11 bloggers who you feel deserve this award (and have a smaller following).
• Ask your nominees to answer 11 questions.

Here are my 11 Random Facts About Myself:

1. I don't like when people ask me what my favorite______ is. My mood determines what my favorite whatever is, so my answers change all the time. I can be very indecisive because of this.
2. I have ridden an elephant before.
3. If I could be a high school teacher, I would want to teach history/social studies. I love history!
4. After living in West Virginia for 4 years, I say Ap-puh-latch-in not A-pa-lai-shin. I was won over when someone from down south gave me the Lancaster vs Lan-caster argument and told me if he had to learn how to say Lancaster right, I had to learn how to say Appalachian .
5. I always thought I would go to Clearwater Christian College or Marantha Baptist Bible College, but when senior year came around I ended up applying to and getting accepted by 2 schools - Asbury College and Appalachian Bible College (my mom's and my dad's colleges respectively). For you advertisers out there - alumni mail does indeed work!
6. I am not a fan of heights. If it is old and creaky and high off the ground, my legs turn into jello.
7. I love goats. I think they are the cutest creatures in all of God's Creation!
8. I really miss the loft I lived in when I did my student teaching. It was awesome!
9. I miss doing old school research reports where you go to the library and read a ton of books about a person or event from history. I still do research online, but it is not the same as my elementary research reports. I love those assignments, and the one thing I miss about not graduating from CBCS was getting to do a Civil War report.
10. I always have to cut my finger nails short. I hate the way nails feel on certain textures.
11. If I ever teach overseas, Romania is at the top of my list. 

Sarai's 11 Questions for Me:

1. What is your definition of a perfect day? A perfect day would be sunny and moderately warm so it could be mostly spent outside. The best days are those spent doing something exciting with close friends and/or family. I can't narrow it down to one particular event, but those are usually my best days.
2. What would you consider the main inspiration behind your blog? I just love hearing people's life stories from those who enjoy writing. I started my blog mostly to have a quick link list to my favorite blogs. Depending on what I am reading and what it going on with me, I am at times inspired to attempt writing something of my own. I wish I was better at it though.
3. When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? Goodness - what age? I started off wanting to be an artist (hahahahahaha), then a teacher, then a dolphin trainer, then a teacher, then a vet, then a teacher, then a horse camp owner, then a teacher - you can see what God was trying to tell me. :) Honestly, I just wanted to work with children, and really I would love to be a wife and mother if the Lord ever allows. 
4. If you could go back in history, who would you like to meet? Well as I said, I love history, so this is hard. I have a lot of heroes. Dolly Madison ranks up there, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Dwight D. Eisenhower, the people who began the Robin Hood and Prince Arthur legends, David from the Bible, and so many others. It is hard to choose. Actually meeting the judges from the book of Judges would be awesome too.
5. What’s your favorite joke? I don't know if I have a favorite, but one I can think of is Knock, knock - who's there - Goliath - Goliath Who? - Goliath down you looketh tired.
6. What’s the best decision you ever made? Going to Appalachian Bible College - and actually I am hoping my decision for next year could trump that. Time will tell....
7. If you knew you would die tomorrow, how would you live your last day? I honestly don't know what I would do, but I am sure it would involve being close to my family and dearest friends.
8. What’s one of your favorite questions for people to ask you to get a conversation going? Well I love to talk about my class, so any question regarding my job. I also enjoy talking about my family. When I was in college, I loved to talk about home sweet home.
9. What is the strangest experience you've ever had? I have been contacted by the police twice in the year. The first time was because my cell phone number was similar to someone who was being stalked. I guess I answered my phone one time when the stalker called me (no one responded when I answered), so the officer was trying to see if I had talked to the person. The second time was because my car was picked up on a security cam at a shopping center the day of an apparent robbery. I suppose those were some strange incidents.
10. What have you learned today? You have not lived until you party like a preschooler!
11. Who in your life has influenced you the most? How did they do it? I'd say my mom by her constant wisdom and guidance, and her freakish ability to always be right! I mean I know she technically is not perfect, but when it comes to the important stuff trust me - she is ALWAYS right.

 And there you have it. My 11 questions and 11 facts. Sadly, I don't know anyone to nominate for a Liebster award. However, if you would like to, I will leave 11 questions that anyone can answer in the comment section, and feel free to leave 11 random facts about yourself as well.

1. Whether you love what you do or not  - what dream job or career would you have if you had to change jobs?
2. What do you consider to be the perfect pet?
3. What is your favorite movie and why?
4. If you were shipwrecked on a deserted island, who would you want to be there with you?
5. What is a favorite song of yours and why? (Noticed I said A favorite, see my random fact #1 ;-))
6. Are you an early bird or a night owl?
7. What would be your dream vacation?
8. What is a fond childhood memory you have?
9. What is the strangest food you have ever eaten?
10. What is the coolest historical landmark you have seen?
11. When you are feeling down or depressed, what thing can always brighten your mood no matter what?

My Favorite Literary Character

I probably should have written this post back in the summer, because I will probably be foggy on details now, but I would like to share with you all my favorite literary character. As background, a little over a decade ago, the people around me started discussing this thing called Lord of the Rings. I thought it sounded like the dumbest thing I had ever heard of, but one day my brother brought home the movies and suddenly I was hooked. Yes, I did the bad thing and fell in love with the movies before I read the book. I did a skim reading of the books one winter around that time, but it wasn't until this summer when I carefully read them through.

I must say since I watched the movies first, details to blend together, and I am guilty of picking and choosing what changes I like best. Originally the love story between Aragorn and Arwen hooked me as crazy as that may sound. I still like these characters a lot, but further reading into the story I quickly realized the small part their loved played into this excellent trilogy. I could tell you all the characters I like and why for there are very few I dislike apart from the villains, but my very favorite would have to be Faramir.

From the first time I saw "The Return of the King" my heart broke for him when his father admitted Faramir would have died in his father's place. Then Faramir goes out on a suicide mission to prove his loyalty and earn his father's love only to be placed on a burning pyre alive. I suppose it was a pity I felt, but the more I actually read of the story, the more I began to admire this character that Tolkien created.

When Faramir was a very young boy his mother passed away and his father drifted away in grief. It was during this time that Faramir became close with his older brother Boromir despite the fact that his father favored Boromir. Tolkien points out that no matter what favoritism was shown, Faramir still loved and admired his brother. No jealousy ever separated the brothers. Despite Faramir's love for his brother, he still did what he could to make his father proud. This affected his choice in holding Frodo and Sam prisoner when the ring came to his possesion. Yet in the end, Faramir chose the right choice over pleasing his father knowing there would be harsh consequences. His father did indeed verbally abuse him for his choice and comparing him to Boromir. The sad truth is that Boromir met his fate in his lust of the ring. Denethor, as Faramir' father was named, had no desire to return the ruling on Gondor back to the rightful king, but Faramir did so with pleasure after only ruling for a brief spell. After almost dying in a suicide mission to earn his father's love and healing from this wounds and the pyre, Faramir met and fell in love with the lady Eowyn of Rohan. When expressing his feelings, he was bold but not assuming.

From everything I read (and have seen) about Faramir (and I know I am forgetting some things right now), he is selfless. In today's world, we all seem to have this feeling of entitlement. We want what we want when we want it, and many times we ruin relationships with others to meet our own needs first. Faramir was never shown as perfect. He toyed with pleasing his father above all else even if it was the wrong thing, but he still made the right choice in the end. He had a kind spirit and a good heart. In a deleted scene, Pippin tells Faramir that he has "strength of a different kind." He may not have been the warrior that his older brother was, but Faramir took wise council from others and learned from it. His actions led to a part in saving Middle Earth from destruction.

The Bible says:

 Do not let your adornment be merely outward—arranging the hair, wearing gold, or putting on fine apparel—  rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4 NKJV)

Faramir could have let his self worth come from what his family thought of him. He could have competed with his brother to be the best soldier. He could have fought to keep his stewardship of the throne or been arrogant with Eowyn. Yet he did none of this. He maintained a gentle spirit and did his duty for the people of his land. What a better place the world might be if we stopped focusing on what we think we should have and started putting others first.