A Matter of Faith

This summer has been challenging for me. I graduated from college looking forward to a new chapter in life. at first, I really did have some plans, but right before I marched down that aisle for my diploma, my plans began to fall through. Though I was disappointed at first, I knew deep down inside that the Lord would take care of me. I began the summer catching up with friends, pleasure reading, and looking forward to new opportunities in life.

However, my joy started to disappear as the doors to employment began to close one by one. At times I was discouraged, and I just was not happy with the way things were going. Each time I started feeling low, the Lord gave me a verse, an encouragement or some ray of hope to keep me going. Knowing the Lord was in control kept me going.
Next thing I knew, I had not one, not two, but 4 job offers. Now I experienced new stress. Which job or jobs should I choose? Did I make the right choice? Am I a fool to give this up? The questions swarmed in my head, but the answer was becoming more clear. I soon began working part time at K-Mart with a position in a preschool for the fall. Life was good, and I knew the Lord had answer my prayers for work. It was what I had been expecting, but I knew if the Lord provided the positions, I was certain to enjoy a new adventure.
Well life just never gets easier. I have really enjoyed my job at K-Mart, but I have been concerned about schedule conflicts. Without going into too much detail, I was really trying to trust the Lord and not stress about the unknown. I figured if the Lord gave me the jobs, He would take care of the details. However, knowing and believing are two different things. I kept praying about the situation, and already the Lord seems to have taken care of the details. Once again I am anticipating a brand new exciting chapter of life.
One thing this summer has taught me is that I can never give up my faith. God takes care of me each and every day. New problems and trials in life will appear, but the Lord will be right by my side to help take care of the little details. Hopefully I will remember this life lessons and save myself hours of worthless worry.

The Lord is good to them that wait on Him, to the soul that seeketh Him. ~Lamentations 3:25

Healthy Competition: The Greatest Challenge

"Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning."
                                                                                                                         ~James 1:17

Perhaps you may recognize this guy. Most people probably recognize him now as the greatest Olympian ever. Michael Phelps, the most decorated Olympian with 22 medals (18 of which being gold) certainly has put forth a lot of hard work into his sport. Back in Beijing '08, I cheered him on as he won the most golds ever. This year, I was not as excited for him to meet all of his goals. Why?

This guy right here, Ryan Lochte. I must admit, I followed my cousin's lead of fandom for this amazing athlete. I wanted to cheer for the underdog, because I realized that Michael Phelp's head seemed to be getting a little big in different swims I've seen over the past 4 years. It was looks of "WHAT?!" if he didn't place first.

The London Olympics have shown me other things I am not sure I like seeing. First of all I saw this:

I am sure it is disappointing to so close and yet so far from a gold medal, but seriously, how many people would love to win a silver? We all make mistakes, and I am sorry that Mackayla's happened when it mattered. However, this is not an attitude I would want to display to the world.

Being a sore loser is bad, but so is being a sore winner:

The look of this is what I expected is boastful. This girl's actions all week seem to have been horrifying as she threw fits like a toddler when she lost. How sad for the greatest athletes in the world to act like this.

 I love the Olympics, and I support Team USA. I believe that their accomplishments are the result of hard work. I can't imagine the disappointment when you work so hard for something  yet miss your goals. However it comes down to the fact that our gifts come from the Lord. All athletes in the Olympics trained for gold, they qualified for gold, and when it comes down to it, there can only be one winner. I can be competitive in certain situations, but I pray that my competitive spirit is one that brings honor and glory to God. Just like this girl:

Or like the girl who said coming 4th in the Olympics is not a bad thing:

How often do Christians destroy their testimony by letting the spirit of competition flatten their testimony? It is so ugly the way we let sports, games, tests or whatever drive us to act like we are the center of the universe. Watching the different attitudes of Olympians have made me more mindful of this. I am not saying that all of these athletes are Christians necessarily, but either way sportmanship speaks volumes. I root for the underdog who displays gratefulness to be where they are. Those who just expect greatness and tolerate nothing else do not deserve the glory in my opinion.

After all....."every good gift comes from above...." What does man really deserve?

Family Vacation 2012

Some of my fondest childhood memories are those spent at the Outer Banks or Ocean City, MD with my family. For me a family vacation is not just my immediate family, but aunts, uncles and cousins too. I love being with my family, and when you add the beach, it truly is paradise. This year we did something a little different when my immediate family joined our aunt's family in Florida. It truly was a blessed time. Here are some highlights of the trip.

  Well after the long 18 hour or so car drive, we finely reached our destination. We spent the first day taking it easy to catch up on sleep after driving through the night. Monday was the first day we ventured to do anything exciting. We all headed to Gatorama which serves as a wildlife preserve of sorts for thousands of alligators and crocodiles.

     There we witnessed the feeding of the crocs and gators. I would not want to have this lady's job, and the sign didn't really help my nerves. However, it was amazing to learn about God's creatures. We got to see them leap for their meat, and one even broke a board on the boardwalk. Let me tell you how comforting that was.

    The most exciting part of the whole experience was holding a baby alligator. The guide muzzled the mouth, so all I needed to look out for was the tail. This little guy had a soft underbelly and a pretty rock hard top. His feet felt strange. I always enjoy getting to take part in these random experiences.

   Later in the week, we ventured to Mayakka State Park. I saw 2 alligators out in the wild which was pretty neat. I saw a deer standing out in the swamp too. The wildlife in Florida is amazing! During the course of the week I saw all kinds of birds with beaks made for spearing fish, wild boars, armadillos, and a racoon that joined us for lunch one day. The squirrels seemed a little too friendly at times as they had no fear when it came to human contact. I was also close to several ravens which was exciting. They had bobcats and a cougar at Gatorama which were neat to see.

   Another amazing experience was kayaking. We traveled through mangroves. The point of the trip was to see manatees and dolphins. Though we did chase down some dolphins, we did not see any manatees on the trip. That was okay because we saw one at the beach. We also saw a turtle while kayaking too. So much fun!

  There were so many moments of this vacation I loved. I could say a lot more about it, but most of you who read this probably saw my pictures on facebook already. Another special time was a heart to heart with my daddy. At this point in life, we both stay pretty busy. It was such an encouraging time as he related to different things I am going through. Honestly this summer I have relished in the wisdom of my parents, aunts and best friends. The Lord is so good to me, and I am thankful for the encouragement He gives when things get hard. I don't know how many family vacations like this we have left, but I soaked it all up. What a great week!

Is There Anything Too Hard for Me?

This is what the Lord said to Abraham when He questions God's plan for His life. God told Abraham his seed would be as much as the stars in the sky, but Abraham got impatient as he and his wife grew older. In my own human mind, I feel like I would be questioning God's plan if I were Abraham or Sarah. Yet God said, "Is there anything to hard for me?" Of course not. We all know the story of Isaac, then Jacob and how the line continued right into the birth of our Savior.
Sadly, man just never seems to learn total faith in God. Sarah tried to help God out by providing Hagar to bear Ishmael with Abraham. This plan backfired since it was not God's fan. As silly as it sounds not to have total trust in God, I must say I have been feeling like Abraham lately.
This summer I have yet to find a job. I graduated 2 months ago, and all opportunities seemed bleak. There seemed to be job offers enough, but I never seemed to fit the job qualifications. I kept telling myself that God had something better, and my mom told me the same. However, as time passed, I began to feel like a bum. People constantly ask what I am doing with myself, but of course my answer is the same. Basically nothing. I was beginning to give up on the job hunt all together, just waiting for something to come along.
To add insult to injury, I was beginning to see other dreams pass before my eyes. No job, means no car since I have no income to support myself. Student loans draw nearer, and I have other dreams that began to seem like a bleak reality. A few nights ago, I reached my breaking point and had a good cry. I have discovered writing my feelings out helps me rationalize better. As I wrote, I felt the need to pray to my Father. I asked Him what was the point of 4 years of studying elementary education when I couldn't even get a minimum wage part time job much less a teaching job. As I poured out my heart and looked at my written feelings, I realized I had not been truly giving my burden to the Lord who promised to care for me.

Is there anything too hard for me?

I started a new day feeling refreshed and filled of hope. I reset my dreams and expectations to be within the will of the Lord and waiting for His timing. I also discovered new job opportunities I didn't realize existed. To make along story short, in half a week, I have a job offer, a job interview today and one tomorrow. One of these opportunities is a teaching opportunity as well. Now instead of wishing I had a job, I now wish I knew which one to pick. I don't know what God has for me, but I do know it will be awesome whatever it is. No, Lord, there is nothing to hard for you.

To Him be all the glory and praise!

Swaying to the Rhythm of Life

   I can hardly believe that I am nearing the 2 month mark since my college graduation. One of the reason it is hard to believe attributes to the fact I am still job hunting. The Lord is teaching me an awful lot about patience this summer. Recently I have found more peace. I am so thankful for my support system He has surrounded me with. From family, friends and my church family, I have been adjusting to the present. For a while I wanted to be in control, but I am working at surrendering my will. Through this, I am back to anticipating the unknown as well as enjoying the rest for the time being. Once the Lord does make the way clear, I am sure I will not have many quiet moments like these left. I recently found out about a teaching opportunity for which I have applied. I am praying to see if this little surprise offer will  pan out. If not, I will just keep trusting and searching.
    I recently discovered how blessed I am. On the way home from an outing with friends, I saw a young man on a street corner asking for food and work. Sometimes I am skeptical of beggars on the street, but at the same time, I know many are truly in need. Perhaps I have to wait for a job, but I am far from needy. I have  already mentioned my incredible support system. I am also able to visit with friends, attend Bible studies and church, and I already have made many fun summer memories. This is even with cutting back on money spending adventures. I have not struggled with where my next meal is coming from or where I will sleep at night.
   Shame on me for complaining because I truly am blessed. I am trying to take each day as it comes and seize each opportunity. I am also trying my hand at things that I never thought I would do. I have been trying to be more outgoing in groups of people I do not know well yet. I even went to a swing dancing club to learn how. I know a lot more exciting opportunities will come my way if I only open my heart to what God has for me. He has always been faithful to me and never led me astray once. So cheers to whatever is next as I sway to the rhythm of life!

Growing Beautifully

I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about. I have a lot on my mind, but nothing particularly inspiring came to mind. Then I remembered the title I came up with for my blog. Invitation to grow beautifully....this is what God has invited me to do.
Lately, my family and the neighbors around have been planting flowers for the summer. It sure is a messy task. Wheelbarrows and tools are scattered over the yard. Hands and feed are covered in mud and dirt. Weeds have been pulled, but after it is all said and done, beautiful plants begin to grow. The care does not stop there though. Each night, my mom must go out and water the plants. Weeds will still continue to grow, so we will continue to pull weeds. Next summer, the whole process will begin again. I guess life is a little like this.
I have graduated from college, and after some messy reworking, I have been planted back here at home. Right now the weeds of doubt and uncertainty are beginning to grow. I feel left behind in some areas of life and depressed that I am still job hunting. The weeds of depression, self-pity, self-reliance, and discontentment threaten to choke the beautiful flower God wants me to be.
However, it does not have to be that way. Each day I am showered with encouragement from family and friends who let me know I am loved and supported. The warm light of God's love reassures me that I am never alone. All of this uncertainty for the future is scary, but at the end of the day, God is in control. I still do not know what is next for me, but I can still grow beautifully. It may be messy, but what an awesome adventure it is. I have already made many memories I shall treasure forever this summer. I do not need to wallow in self doubt and pity. Rather I will drink in the waters of encouragement and soak up the light of love from my Heavenly Father.

Time Capsule

       This last semester at college was a pretty amazing experience, and I know I will never forget the incredible student teaching experience as I long as I live. However, I did go through some personal experiences during this time that provided bumps in the road. I have come to realize that life is unpredictable, but whether it be a smooth, bumpy or combination of the two kind of ride....life is beautiful.
        I celebrated my birthday in March and 2 days later, my grandfather died. My family has been expecting it for some time, but I still grieved nonetheless. My parents had come to see me the weekend before, and brought home many of my things. About 2 weeks later, my wonderful cousin came and got me so I could be home for the funeral. At this point, I brought home more things. I was only home for about a day. Here I stood in my bedroom full of the few things I brought home and knowing I had a lot more coming back.
      I returned to school and finished up my semester. (Graduation was a blast by the way!) Anyway, I almost felt nauseated about all I was bringing home to fit in my room. I knew I had a major clean up project ahead of me. I dove right in and began filling up boxes for Goodwill and trash bags for the trash. I can only pray this experience has forever cured me of my hoarding problem I obviously suffered from when I was younger. Now I have a decently organized room that has been rearranged for the first time ever. I love it!
       Many of the things I came across brought back all sorts of memories. Happy, sad, painful, exciting and everything in between. One particular find was a journal. I was flipping through the pages of poems, song lyrics and other random things I had written in it. Then I found this journal entry I wrote about the last five years of my life. At that time I had been reflecting on the journey God brought me through after my first school closed. For a long time it haunted my thoughts. I believe this entry began the time when I started letting go of the past, and just started being thankful for the present and looking forward to the future. The most ironic thing about this entry was that it was written almost exactly 5 years ago from this date. I soon found myself writing about the past 5 years, so who knows, maybe this will become a tradition. Anyway, though many things have changed, I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. He is my constant in this ever changing world.
     I don't know what is next for me, but I am so excited about the possibilities. I kept of few reminders of the past, but I am still thankful for the present and so looking forward to the future. Life just keeps getting better with the hand of God leading me.