I was trying to decide what I wanted to write about. I have a lot on my mind, but nothing particularly inspiring came to mind. Then I remembered the title I came up with for my blog. Invitation to grow beautifully....this is what God has invited me to do.
Lately, my family and the neighbors around have been planting flowers for the summer. It sure is a messy task. Wheelbarrows and tools are scattered over the yard. Hands and feed are covered in mud and dirt. Weeds have been pulled, but after it is all said and done, beautiful plants begin to grow. The care does not stop there though. Each night, my mom must go out and water the plants. Weeds will still continue to grow, so we will continue to pull weeds. Next summer, the whole process will begin again. I guess life is a little like this.
I have graduated from college, and after some messy reworking, I have been planted back here at home. Right now the weeds of doubt and uncertainty are beginning to grow. I feel left behind in some areas of life and depressed that I am still job hunting. The weeds of depression, self-pity, self-reliance, and discontentment threaten to choke the beautiful flower God wants me to be.
However, it does not have to be that way. Each day I am showered with encouragement from family and friends who let me know I am loved and supported. The warm light of God's love reassures me that I am never alone. All of this uncertainty for the future is scary, but at the end of the day, God is in control. I still do not know what is next for me, but I can still grow beautifully. It may be messy, but what an awesome adventure it is. I have already made many memories I shall treasure forever this summer. I do not need to wallow in self doubt and pity. Rather I will drink in the waters of encouragement and soak up the light of love from my Heavenly Father.
Friday, May 25, 2012
Thursday, May 10, 2012
Time Capsule
This last semester at college was a pretty amazing experience, and I know I will never forget the incredible student teaching experience as I long as I live. However, I did go through some personal experiences during this time that provided bumps in the road. I have come to realize that life is unpredictable, but whether it be a smooth, bumpy or combination of the two kind of ride....life is beautiful.
I celebrated my birthday in March and 2 days later, my grandfather died. My family has been expecting it for some time, but I still grieved nonetheless. My parents had come to see me the weekend before, and brought home many of my things. About 2 weeks later, my wonderful cousin came and got me so I could be home for the funeral. At this point, I brought home more things. I was only home for about a day. Here I stood in my bedroom full of the few things I brought home and knowing I had a lot more coming back.
I returned to school and finished up my semester. (Graduation was a blast by the way!) Anyway, I almost felt nauseated about all I was bringing home to fit in my room. I knew I had a major clean up project ahead of me. I dove right in and began filling up boxes for Goodwill and trash bags for the trash. I can only pray this experience has forever cured me of my hoarding problem I obviously suffered from when I was younger. Now I have a decently organized room that has been rearranged for the first time ever. I love it!
Many of the things I came across brought back all sorts of memories. Happy, sad, painful, exciting and everything in between. One particular find was a journal. I was flipping through the pages of poems, song lyrics and other random things I had written in it. Then I found this journal entry I wrote about the last five years of my life. At that time I had been reflecting on the journey God brought me through after my first school closed. For a long time it haunted my thoughts. I believe this entry began the time when I started letting go of the past, and just started being thankful for the present and looking forward to the future. The most ironic thing about this entry was that it was written almost exactly 5 years ago from this date. I soon found myself writing about the past 5 years, so who knows, maybe this will become a tradition. Anyway, though many things have changed, I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. He is my constant in this ever changing world.
I don't know what is next for me, but I am so excited about the possibilities. I kept of few reminders of the past, but I am still thankful for the present and so looking forward to the future. Life just keeps getting better with the hand of God leading me.
I celebrated my birthday in March and 2 days later, my grandfather died. My family has been expecting it for some time, but I still grieved nonetheless. My parents had come to see me the weekend before, and brought home many of my things. About 2 weeks later, my wonderful cousin came and got me so I could be home for the funeral. At this point, I brought home more things. I was only home for about a day. Here I stood in my bedroom full of the few things I brought home and knowing I had a lot more coming back.
I returned to school and finished up my semester. (Graduation was a blast by the way!) Anyway, I almost felt nauseated about all I was bringing home to fit in my room. I knew I had a major clean up project ahead of me. I dove right in and began filling up boxes for Goodwill and trash bags for the trash. I can only pray this experience has forever cured me of my hoarding problem I obviously suffered from when I was younger. Now I have a decently organized room that has been rearranged for the first time ever. I love it!
Many of the things I came across brought back all sorts of memories. Happy, sad, painful, exciting and everything in between. One particular find was a journal. I was flipping through the pages of poems, song lyrics and other random things I had written in it. Then I found this journal entry I wrote about the last five years of my life. At that time I had been reflecting on the journey God brought me through after my first school closed. For a long time it haunted my thoughts. I believe this entry began the time when I started letting go of the past, and just started being thankful for the present and looking forward to the future. The most ironic thing about this entry was that it was written almost exactly 5 years ago from this date. I soon found myself writing about the past 5 years, so who knows, maybe this will become a tradition. Anyway, though many things have changed, I am so thankful for all the blessings God has given me. He is my constant in this ever changing world.
I don't know what is next for me, but I am so excited about the possibilities. I kept of few reminders of the past, but I am still thankful for the present and so looking forward to the future. Life just keeps getting better with the hand of God leading me.
Friday, April 27, 2012
And Thus It Was....
"And thus it was: the fourth age of Middle-Earth began; and the Fellowship of the Ring, though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended."
~Frodo Baggins
Granted, I may not living in the fourth age of Middle-Earth, and I am certainly not bound to the fellowship of the ring, but a new journey of life is beginning, and the love I have gained for my students will be eternal. Sadly though, it has ended.
I began this adventure sometime back in January, and I was a mess. My good friend, Sarah, was making a major life change of her own by going away to college. We were both quite nervous about these changes, but Sarah said, "Just think of it as our own adventures." For medieval legend loving girls like ourselves, this thought gave me some motivation to enjoy this phase.
I soon found myself in a new place to live faced with 50 eyes ready for learning. The new adventure began, but I absolutely loved it. You can see from previous posts that I was quite content where I was. I taught 5th grade, and they never really seemed lovey dovey. I was okay with that though and just worked hard to be a good teacher. Yesterday was my last day, and my heart aches for leaving them behind. The notes they wrote me allowed me to see what they all thought of me. I never knew I could enjoy this adventure so much, but I did. I was more excited to find out that my students loved it as much as I did. I still have much to learn to be a good teacher, but the short time I experienced was awesome.
I pray that I will remember how I felt through this experience the next time a grand adventure comes along. I do not know what it is next in life for me, but I crave the mystery. I feel like a brand new adventure is right around the corner. I can't help but think that it too will be thrilling.
Today, I am still a little sad because the last adventure is over, but may it be said....
"And thus it was: the post college life of Meghan began; and the 5th grade student teaching experience though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended."
(Corny, I know, but true just the same. ;))
~Frodo Baggins
Granted, I may not living in the fourth age of Middle-Earth, and I am certainly not bound to the fellowship of the ring, but a new journey of life is beginning, and the love I have gained for my students will be eternal. Sadly though, it has ended.
I began this adventure sometime back in January, and I was a mess. My good friend, Sarah, was making a major life change of her own by going away to college. We were both quite nervous about these changes, but Sarah said, "Just think of it as our own adventures." For medieval legend loving girls like ourselves, this thought gave me some motivation to enjoy this phase.
I soon found myself in a new place to live faced with 50 eyes ready for learning. The new adventure began, but I absolutely loved it. You can see from previous posts that I was quite content where I was. I taught 5th grade, and they never really seemed lovey dovey. I was okay with that though and just worked hard to be a good teacher. Yesterday was my last day, and my heart aches for leaving them behind. The notes they wrote me allowed me to see what they all thought of me. I never knew I could enjoy this adventure so much, but I did. I was more excited to find out that my students loved it as much as I did. I still have much to learn to be a good teacher, but the short time I experienced was awesome.
I pray that I will remember how I felt through this experience the next time a grand adventure comes along. I do not know what it is next in life for me, but I crave the mystery. I feel like a brand new adventure is right around the corner. I can't help but think that it too will be thrilling.
Today, I am still a little sad because the last adventure is over, but may it be said....
"And thus it was: the post college life of Meghan began; and the 5th grade student teaching experience though eternally bound by friendship and love, was ended."
(Corny, I know, but true just the same. ;))
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Independent Yet Not Alone
It has been some time since I posted last. I wouldn't say I have been too busy to post, but I just have not been inspired to write about the wonderful things happening in my life. Student teaching continues to be a blessing and one of the best experiences of my life. I love my students and will miss them dearly when I leave next month. However, I am starting to itch for the next chapter of life. God has been so good to me, and I look forward to what He is in store for me next.
While student teaching has been quite an adventure, I have been thinking a lot about the way God knows just what I need when I need it. The day I was given my student teaching assignment was exciting to me. The Lord not only provided a position, but He placed me where I would have a proper living arrangement as well as transportation. I have already blogged about loving my independence. It truly is a joy to cook for myself, keep the place clean, and just go about my business in my own little loft. Lately I have been alone more often in the loft, but it allows me to get several things on the to do list done. I have even had days when I could shopping by myself and just take care of my needs. All of this has taught me a lot about myself and I am so thankful for the experience.
It is true that independence is wonderful, but I am by no means a loner. God knows just when to put the people I need into my life. This past weekend is a perfect example. I did not have the best day at school on Friday, so my only saving grace was knowing my parents were arriving for a visit. This past weekend with them has been much needed and so refreshing. At first, I wanted them to come over spring break, but it worked out better for them to come for my birthday weekend. I am glad God knows what I need instead of giving me what I want. I have also been experiencing some family health crises of sorts. It kills me not to be there with my family when these things happen, but thanks to technology, I can stay informed and still be an encouragement to my loved ones.
The network of people I have been surrounded by have been so vital to my enjoyment here. The support of my church family down here, fellow teachers and host family provide me encouragement. Some days are rough, but with so many people in my corner, I rarely feel like I have a bad day. I also enjoy talking to good friends back at home or at school who encourage me and I them. God has brought me so many blessings simply by where He has placed me. I just feel like I needed to share that. Independence is a wonderful thing, but without the body of Christ, there would be little joy in life!
While student teaching has been quite an adventure, I have been thinking a lot about the way God knows just what I need when I need it. The day I was given my student teaching assignment was exciting to me. The Lord not only provided a position, but He placed me where I would have a proper living arrangement as well as transportation. I have already blogged about loving my independence. It truly is a joy to cook for myself, keep the place clean, and just go about my business in my own little loft. Lately I have been alone more often in the loft, but it allows me to get several things on the to do list done. I have even had days when I could shopping by myself and just take care of my needs. All of this has taught me a lot about myself and I am so thankful for the experience.
It is true that independence is wonderful, but I am by no means a loner. God knows just when to put the people I need into my life. This past weekend is a perfect example. I did not have the best day at school on Friday, so my only saving grace was knowing my parents were arriving for a visit. This past weekend with them has been much needed and so refreshing. At first, I wanted them to come over spring break, but it worked out better for them to come for my birthday weekend. I am glad God knows what I need instead of giving me what I want. I have also been experiencing some family health crises of sorts. It kills me not to be there with my family when these things happen, but thanks to technology, I can stay informed and still be an encouragement to my loved ones.
The network of people I have been surrounded by have been so vital to my enjoyment here. The support of my church family down here, fellow teachers and host family provide me encouragement. Some days are rough, but with so many people in my corner, I rarely feel like I have a bad day. I also enjoy talking to good friends back at home or at school who encourage me and I them. God has brought me so many blessings simply by where He has placed me. I just feel like I needed to share that. Independence is a wonderful thing, but without the body of Christ, there would be little joy in life!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Week 1
I don't know if I will be able to update every week, but I thought I would at least give one update while I still can. Student teaching has been a wonderful chapter in my life. I honestly feel like this is Life 101 which I must say has been my favorite class in college so far. I always wished my school offered an apartment option like other universities, and this week it hit me that my wish came true.
So about one week ago, my friend, Ashley, and I arrived at my new temporary home. At first the reality hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt anxious and little lonely in a new place. After settling into my loft and talking with my host family, I quickly began to feel right at home. The loft is awesome! I have a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and living room. I also enjoy being able to pop in on the family when I need to, and Ashley lives nearby. She comes over often, so we can encourage each other. It has also been wonderful catching up with Olivia. She is part of my host family and we used to go to college together.
The school I am teaching at is really nice. The faculty are friendly, and I like my students. I am really looking forward to having the opportunity to teach. Some of the work appears to be overwhelming, but I am taking it a day at a time. My host teacher is helpful, so I think the experience will be a good one.
Honestly my new routine feels more familiar than college ever did. I get up around the same time I did in high school. I make my breakfast and watch the Today show in the morning. I love being able to keep up with the news again. After school, I do my paperwork and eventually make dinner. I usually watch tv and get my lunch ready for the next day. I am trying not to be a tv junkie, but a little familiar noise just makes the place feel more homely. I really feel like an adult now that I make most of my own decisions and live more independently. I am still surrounded by godly people who have helped me feel like I am at home. Among everything, I have learned some about flexibility and the surprises life throws at you, but overall it is awesome. I am guessing this experience will fly by, but I am enjoying it for the time being. Well back to the Super Bowl. Though I am not exactly happy with the turn out, at least the Steelers did not make it again this year. Also the Ryan Lochte Olympic commercial reminds me that the London 12 is upon us, so what is not to love?
So about one week ago, my friend, Ashley, and I arrived at my new temporary home. At first the reality hit me like a ton of bricks, and I felt anxious and little lonely in a new place. After settling into my loft and talking with my host family, I quickly began to feel right at home. The loft is awesome! I have a bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and living room. I also enjoy being able to pop in on the family when I need to, and Ashley lives nearby. She comes over often, so we can encourage each other. It has also been wonderful catching up with Olivia. She is part of my host family and we used to go to college together.
The school I am teaching at is really nice. The faculty are friendly, and I like my students. I am really looking forward to having the opportunity to teach. Some of the work appears to be overwhelming, but I am taking it a day at a time. My host teacher is helpful, so I think the experience will be a good one.
Honestly my new routine feels more familiar than college ever did. I get up around the same time I did in high school. I make my breakfast and watch the Today show in the morning. I love being able to keep up with the news again. After school, I do my paperwork and eventually make dinner. I usually watch tv and get my lunch ready for the next day. I am trying not to be a tv junkie, but a little familiar noise just makes the place feel more homely. I really feel like an adult now that I make most of my own decisions and live more independently. I am still surrounded by godly people who have helped me feel like I am at home. Among everything, I have learned some about flexibility and the surprises life throws at you, but overall it is awesome. I am guessing this experience will fly by, but I am enjoying it for the time being. Well back to the Super Bowl. Though I am not exactly happy with the turn out, at least the Steelers did not make it again this year. Also the Ryan Lochte Olympic commercial reminds me that the London 12 is upon us, so what is not to love?
Friday, January 27, 2012
What a Week!
So my week started on Sunday with a very sad loss on behalf of my Baltimore Ravens. Disappointing as it was, the boys had a great season from my perspective. A Super Bowl win would have been awesome, but sorry to all you Steeler fans out there, I was pretty happy about the sweep. Writing this paragraph made me realize I have finally gotten over the loss against the Patriots. After all it is only a game, yaddi yaddi ya. ;-)
In other news, this was also the week of goodbyes. Goodbye to my second church family, Sunday School class, AWANA Cubbies, professors, roommate, college friends, etc etc. I am also realizing that I only have one more week until it is goodbye for the foreseeable future. However, I realized that goodbye is not always such a bad thing. You see the reason goodbyes hurt so much is that I genuinely love these people around me. What's more, they love me too (well some of them anyway, hehe.) To love and be loved is a wonderful gift, and goodbyes are a reminder of this.
I really cannot be too down in the dumps. The truth is that my goodbyes are for naught. I am heading into a brand new adventure. Student Teaching! Yes, I am nervous, excited, and a lot of things in between, but I am so ready for this challenge. The Lord has already taught me so much these past three weeks - I can't even imagine what I have to learn and discover these next 3 months.
So yes, this week had its up and downs, but I am ready to move on. The pain reminds me there is love, and I know the Lord is on my side. Really, what more do I need? So here's to an exciting journey ahead!
In other news, this was also the week of goodbyes. Goodbye to my second church family, Sunday School class, AWANA Cubbies, professors, roommate, college friends, etc etc. I am also realizing that I only have one more week until it is goodbye for the foreseeable future. However, I realized that goodbye is not always such a bad thing. You see the reason goodbyes hurt so much is that I genuinely love these people around me. What's more, they love me too (well some of them anyway, hehe.) To love and be loved is a wonderful gift, and goodbyes are a reminder of this.
I really cannot be too down in the dumps. The truth is that my goodbyes are for naught. I am heading into a brand new adventure. Student Teaching! Yes, I am nervous, excited, and a lot of things in between, but I am so ready for this challenge. The Lord has already taught me so much these past three weeks - I can't even imagine what I have to learn and discover these next 3 months.
So yes, this week had its up and downs, but I am ready to move on. The pain reminds me there is love, and I know the Lord is on my side. Really, what more do I need? So here's to an exciting journey ahead!
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
According to His Purpose....
I have been deliberating over whether or not I should post about what a wonderful year 2011 was. For the record, it served as a glorious year. I made it through my junior year of college, made some good friends, my best friend got married, enjoyed a great summer learning new things, and my first semester of senior year turned out great. I really could go on and on about 2011, but looking forward to 2012 is what is on my mind.
So if anyone does not know, I am back at college for my last semester. The plan is graduate with a bachelors in elementary education. This means student teaching!!!! So originally I was totally excited about this....I mean this is what I have been waiting 4 years for. Don't get me wrong, I am still excited about it, but the reality is sinking in.
I am going to be teaching 25 5th graders, coming up with the lesson plans, and putting them into action. Obviously I knew this day was coming, but now that it is here, I have become a tad anxious. The last few days of break felt like torture as I contemplated all that could go wrong. My biggest fear is disappointing all those who have invested in my time at college. I want to make them proud, so the pressure is on. I have also been dreading the financial situation as well.
Today the Lord said, "Meghan, this is ridiculous, you need to stop this worry." I knew it was wrong to stress out like this all along, but we all need a kick in the pants sometimes. First of all, I paid my school bill today, and it went a lot better than I was expecting. I still have to be a good steward of my money, but there is no doubt in my mind I am blessed. Sure I have college debt to pay off after graduation, but it could be so much worse. God is great! As far as school stress goes, God gave me Romans 8:28.
"And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purposes."
Wow! Here God is already providing my every need. The Lord has helped me through each and every semester. I have a great support system through family, friends, church and school. There is no doubt in my mind that this is my calling. Then why, oh why, should I worry? I may fail at times, and I may have days that are not easy. That does not mean I should walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head. God has said it will work out for His glory because I have been called according to His purposes.
This new perspective has cheered my spirits immensely. I am still nervous and have uncertainties, but once again I feel excited to set out on this brand new adventure. So farewell 2011, I shared many sweet memories, but now it is time to say welcome 2012....with the help of the Lord, I am ready for you and all you have to offer!
So if anyone does not know, I am back at college for my last semester. The plan is graduate with a bachelors in elementary education. This means student teaching!!!! So originally I was totally excited about this....I mean this is what I have been waiting 4 years for. Don't get me wrong, I am still excited about it, but the reality is sinking in.
I am going to be teaching 25 5th graders, coming up with the lesson plans, and putting them into action. Obviously I knew this day was coming, but now that it is here, I have become a tad anxious. The last few days of break felt like torture as I contemplated all that could go wrong. My biggest fear is disappointing all those who have invested in my time at college. I want to make them proud, so the pressure is on. I have also been dreading the financial situation as well.
Today the Lord said, "Meghan, this is ridiculous, you need to stop this worry." I knew it was wrong to stress out like this all along, but we all need a kick in the pants sometimes. First of all, I paid my school bill today, and it went a lot better than I was expecting. I still have to be a good steward of my money, but there is no doubt in my mind I am blessed. Sure I have college debt to pay off after graduation, but it could be so much worse. God is great! As far as school stress goes, God gave me Romans 8:28.
"And we know that all things work together for good, to them that love God, to them who are called according to His purposes."
Wow! Here God is already providing my every need. The Lord has helped me through each and every semester. I have a great support system through family, friends, church and school. There is no doubt in my mind that this is my calling. Then why, oh why, should I worry? I may fail at times, and I may have days that are not easy. That does not mean I should walk around with a dark cloud hanging over my head. God has said it will work out for His glory because I have been called according to His purposes.
This new perspective has cheered my spirits immensely. I am still nervous and have uncertainties, but once again I feel excited to set out on this brand new adventure. So farewell 2011, I shared many sweet memories, but now it is time to say welcome 2012....with the help of the Lord, I am ready for you and all you have to offer!
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